Aha Shake By TeamBella23.pdf

Aha Shake By TeamBella23

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6201301/1/

Chapter 1

Edward

Vagina.

Snatch.

Honey Pot.

Hooha.

Goodies.

All of these mean the same thing: pussy.

No matter what you call it they, all look about the same: two folds, a clit, and a

hole. Sure, there are varieties in shape, size, and color but at the end of the day,

pussy is pussy. I've seen so much pussy in my twenty-two years that it's not

even a thing, anymore.

Nothing surprises me.

The first time I saw a twat I was ten years old. My brother, Carlisle, who is three

years older than I am, had his girlfriend over to the house when he was supposed

to be babysitting me while our parents were gone for the day. My best friend,

Jasper, and I had been riding bikes all day, but I had came back to the house to

get some water and there it was…

My first ever pussy sighting.

Carlisle had his girl spread-eagle on Mom's couch. I remember standing there in

awe as I watched the sight play out in front of my virginal eyes. A couple of

things went through my head as I watched my brother stick his fingers inside of

this girl: First, vaginas are ugly. This was back in the early nineties… hairy muffs

were in. Second, I wanted to know why she was making those noises. Third,

when would I get my turn?

Not a turn with Carlisle's girl of course, but I wanted one. I wanted my own pussy

to touch.

I stood there in the living room that day and watched as Carlisle made his girl

squirm with his fingers; I was done for.

Sported my first real wood.

This was also the same day that Jasper had his first encounter with the female

sex. He didn't handle it as well as I did… he was scared. Jazz ran through the

back door all sweaty and screaming that he was going to tell his mom, his stupid

blonde hair stuck to his head, red-faced.

When the back door slammed, the jig was up and I was caught. Carlisle's girl

shrieked like a princess. My brother played like he was mad at me for watching,

calling me a little punk, but then he winked. After his girlfriend left, we had a sit

down - brother to brother - we talked about birds and bees.

Carlisle has been my hero ever since, like a mentor. I got my peen touched for

the first time a year later by the older girl down the street. Got it wet at thirteen

and haven't looked back since.

I became a self-confessed pussy addict; I couldn't get enough. From junior high

all the way through high school, girls let me hit without a fight. Carlisle preached

about safe sex and contraception; I listened. I never had sex without a hat, and

you better fucking believe I went through a lot of condoms.

Jasper was scarred by our daytime pussy run in. He has been afraid of the cooter

since we were ten… but the fucker gave the v-card to Alice like it was some

precious family heirloom.

He cried before and after. "But we want it to be special," he said.

Lame.

So while Jasper was having meaningful sex with his Alice, I was pounding hole.

I didn't have time or patience for a girlfriend. I watched Jasper and Alice, holding

hand, whispering sweet nothings, and where did that get him?

In Las Vegas with me.

With vagina in our faces.

I don't know where the fuck things went wrong. I've tried fucking my way

through it; stuck my hand in the committed relationship cookie jar but that only

made things worse. I had sideways sex, upside down sex, sex on the stairs, in

the water… on the floor… with food.

But it's happened.

I'm bored with pussy.

"Dude, this is awesome," Jasper manages to yell before his stripper shoves his

head into her ass.

"Yeah." I sit back, enjoying the show. Bringing Jasper to Vegas for his birthday

was my idea… the breakup has been hard on him.

Pussy usually makes that shit better.

Our first night in town, we're at a strip club. A dancer sits on the stage in front of

me with her legs spread open.

Girls flock in my direction, and strippers are not an exception to this rule. A pussy

is a pussy - a girl is a girl. I'm the full motherfucking package; I have mad

swagger, and my fucking presence screams "sex appeal." Women like that shit.

"Hi," she says in her most seductive voice.

"Hey." Bored.

"Like what you see?" She drops her top. Her tits are nice, but whatever.

"I do!" Jasper says beside me; his stripper shoves his face between her boobs.

This makes me smirk; I remember when I used to get excited at a pair of tits.

My dancer, Lexy, places her stripper heel on my shoulder. I push it off. "Shirt."

She laughs the embarrassment off. She smells like a stripper. They always smell

like flowers.

"Want a dance?" she asks.

"Sure." Pulling out a hundred, I place it on the stage.

"I love Las Vegas," Jasper squeaks.

Laughing at my friend, I turn back to Lexy just in time to see her stick her hand

inside of her bikini bottoms and she rubs her palm against herself.

Keep in mind, I am still a man and my dick still gets hard. I do enjoy an orgasm.

Just because I'm bored with vagina doesn't mean I don't love it.

"Do you like that?"

"Yep," I answer, sitting back to watch and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Good." Lexy takes her hand out…

…and smacks me across the face with it.

Jasper gasps, "Did you just get vagina slapped by a stripper, Edward?"

Three days later

"Dude, look at my dick. I think I have a fucking rash." Jasper drops his white

hotel bath towel, waving his junk in my face. "It was that chick from the other

night. I knew she was dirty."

I take a closer look. "Nah, that's carpet burn, bro." I lie back down on the couch,

trying my hardest to recover from the night before.

"Oh, thank God. I was scared." Wrapping his ass back up in his towel, Jasper

grabs a bottle of water from the bar. "Where's that girl you picked up last night?"

I cover my face with my pillow. We've been in Vegas for three nights celebrating

his twenty-first birthday. For the last three nights, we have gone out, gotten shit

faced, and fucked girls. Last night I got the fucking grenade; the ugly friend… the

body guard. Jasper found this cute little bunny at Pure Night Club; the cost to

fuck her: a hook up for her beastly friend. Jessica was her name, but I think

Snaggletooth is a little more appropriate in her situation. I took one for the

motherfucking team last night.

"Jasper," I groan into my pillow, not wanting to talk about it at all.

"Oh, I don't want to hear shit about the grenade, Edward. I've been thrown in the

trenches more times than I can count for your bitch ass since Alice and I split."

He laughs. "Get dressed, asshole, we're going swimming."

I throw the pillow across the room, toward the bar, but miss him. Jasper and I

have been friends since we were in elementary school. Being from California, this

is not our first Vegas trip. This is just our first time here without fake IDs, and it's

been un-fucking-believable. Jasper and I have always been popular with the

ladies. We can go to the dog pound and get pussy, but in Las Vegas, the ass is in

unlimited supply. We've had women for breakfast, lunch and dinner since we got

here Thursday afternoon.

To my dismay, I have yet to find a fuck that keeps me interested for more than a

couple of months. I don't usually date, never have. That's Jasper's thing. Jasper

and his girlfriend Alice dated since we were freshmen in high school. They broke

up six months ago and thanks to me, he got over that six months ago.

He is still in the early stages of fucking randomly; he thinks all pussy is different.

That motherfucker is still jumping for joy at the idea of not having to fuck the

same girl every night. Five years of monogamy did nothing for him. But once let

out of the monogamy prison, Jasper turned into a fucking machine. He's like a

dog in heat, always humping the fucking air with his little red thing sticking out.

The ladies love him, though.

I'm utterly fucking bored... and sore. That grenade from last night turned out to

be a gymnast. She had me twisted and turned in directions I didn't think

possible. When I heard my back crack, I kicked her ass out. After she left, I

doused myself in IcyHot. I got that shit on my balls, too. It was by far the worst

sex I've ever had and it was all so Jasper could get a piece of the "Prettiest piece

of candy he's ever seen". His chick was average at best and gave him rug burn.

I sit up from the couch, rubbing my face with my hands. My back still aches, but

my balls finally stopped burning.

We have a two-bedroom suite at the Hard Rock, and I slept in the fucking living

room last night.

I grab my blankets and pillow and head back to my room to get ready for the

pool in hopes of finding something worthy enough to fuck.

Bella, Two Years Ago

"Are you sure you want to move, babe? I could live inside of you." Jake's voice is

husky and his breath is hot. We've had this thing going on since we were

sophomores in high school. It's been our secret… a secret that everyone besides

his girl, Leah, knows about.

Carefree.

No commitment.

Amusing.

He can keep his nagging and the jealousy; the typical high school sweetheart

drama. This works - sex without rules - orgasms without cuddling. We cuddle

sometimes, but I threatened the life of his cat if he told anyone.

Jake's hands are on my ass, we're in my father's kitchen… this is our goodbye.

"Mmmm… I think Leah would wonder where you were," I say, licking his lips.

He smacks my ass, making me squirm. "Don't leave me," he groans, while his

teeth nibble on my collarbone.

He knows I love it when he does that shit.

"Jake, a little to the left." My hands are very carefully placed on his shoulders,

head arched back… I'll miss this so fucking much.

The chair he's sitting in creaks, threatening to break under our weight. Jake's

pants are at his knees, and my skirt is hitched up around my waist.

"Like that, Bells?"

"Oh, yeah."

I love Jake, I really do, but not even he is enough to keep me in Forks. I worked

my ass off throughout high school; a party girl, but school always came first. I

have dreams, ambitions… I hate the rain. I always knew I wanted to live

somewhere hot, blistering, scalding… melt your shoes on the pavement heat.

Phoenix is where I assumed I would go, but when I received my acceptance letter

to UNLV, thoughts of Arizona were all forgotten. Charlie, Jake, and my best

friend, Lauren, all tried to talk me out of it but, I'm a free spirit who refuses to be

trapped here. I'm a lot like my mom in that way, I guess. She escaped when I

turned fifteen. Mom only moved to Seattle, but at least they have a Starbucks

there.

My hips rock back and forth on Jake's lap. I take a deep breath because he smells

like sunny days and waves hitting the beach. His shoulders are a little sweaty, I

can't get sweat on my hands. They are my lifeline.

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