{2800}{2885}-[Trolley Bell Clanging]|- [Man] Hey. Pull upat the corner. {3200}{3247}Wait here. {3402}{3447}How. {3450}{3497}Good afternoon, sir. {3883}{3942}[Typing] {4214}{4290}- [ Bell Dings ]|- Yes? {4293}{4384}I'd like to see the boss.|What'd you say his name is? {4386}{4444}- I didn't say.|- Cagey, huh? {4446}{4508}Mr. Boot is the owner and publisher. {4510}{4587}Okay. Tell Mr. Boot|Mr. Tatum would like to see him. {4590}{4648}Charles Tatum from New York. {4650}{4704}What about? {4706}{4813}Look, fan, just ask him how would he like|to make himself a fast $200 a week. {4815}{4886}What did you say you were selling -|insurance? {4888}{4935}I didn't say. {4938}{4985}Cagey, huh? {5198}{5245}[ Bell Dings ] {5578}{5644}Now, isn't that something?|Who said it? {5646}{5753}-Well, Mr. Boot said it, but I did the needlework.|- Oh. {5755}{5825}- Okay.|- I wish I could coin 'em like that. {5827}{5876}Ifl ever do, would you|embroider it for me? {5878}{5933}Oh. {6014}{6059}- Mr. Tatum?|- Yes, sir. {6062}{6145}- Go ahead. What is it?|- Well, Mr. Boot,|I was passing through Albuquerque. {6148}{6215}Had breakfast here.|Read your paper. {6218}{6277}- Thought you might be interested in my reaction.|- You bet I am. {6279}{6354}Well, sir, it made me throw up. {6357}{6423}I don't wantyou to think|I expected the New York Times. {6426}{6495}But even for Albuquerque,|this is pretty Albuquerque. {6498}{6545}All right.|Here's your nickel back. {6547}{6611}Now, what's all this|about my making $200 a week? {6614}{6673}- Apparently, you're not familiarwith my name.|- Can't say that I am. {6675}{6725}That's becauseyou don't get|the Eastern papers out here. {6728}{6800}I thought once in a while somebody|would toss one out ofthe Super Chief... {6802}{6853}and you might have seen my byline. {6856}{6941}Charles Tatum?|Worked New York, Chicago, Detroit - {6944}{7016}- What about the 200?|- I was coming to that. {7062}{7140}Mr. Boot, I'm a $250-a-week|newspaperman. {7142}{7208}- I can be had for 50.|- Why areyou so good to me? {7210}{7267}I know newspapers|backward, forward and sideways. {7270}{7332}I can write 'em, edit 'em,|print 'em, wrap 'em and sell 'em. {7334}{7410}- Don't need anybody right now.|- I can handle big news and little news. {7413}{7484}And ifthere's no news,|I'll go out and bite a dog. {7537}{7621}- Make it 45.|- What makes you so cheap? {7624}{7730}A fair question, considering I've been|top man wherever I've worked. {7732}{7791}You'll be glad to know|that I've been fired from 1 1 papers... {7794}{7851}with a total circulation|of seven million - {7854}{7901}for reasons with which|I don't want to boreyou. {7904}{7962}Go ahead. Bore me. {8062}{8148}I'm a pretty good liar.|I've done a lot oflying in my time. {8150}{8222}I've lied to men whowear belts.|I've lied to men whowear suspenders. {8224}{8282}But I'd never be so stupid|as to lie to a man... {8284}{8330}who wears both belt and suspenders. {8332}{8417}- How's that again?|- You strike me as a cautious man - {8419}{8481}a man who checks and double-checks. {8484}{8534}So I'll tell you why I was fired. {8537}{8596}In New York,|a story of mine brought on a libel suit. {8599}{8687}In Chicago, I started something|with the publisher's wife. {8690}{8745}In Detroit, I was caught|drinking out ofseason. {8747}{8818}- In Cleveland -|- I get the picture. {8820}{8902}Now then, I find myself|in Albuquerquewith no money... {8905}{8986}a burnt-out bearing, bad tires|and a lousy reputation. {8989}{9037}Bad tires can be dangerous. {9040}{9095}I have only one chance|to get backwhere I belong - {9098}{9153}to land a job|on a small-town paper likeyours... {9155}{9231}and wait and hope and pray|for something big to break- {9234}{9281}something I can latch onto... {9283}{9363}something the wire services|will gobble up and yell for more. {9366}{9421}Just one good beat -|a Tatum special - {9424}{9493}and they'll roll out the red carpet. {9495}{9581}'Cause when they need you,|they forgive and forget. {9583}{9678}But until then, Mr. Boot, you'll get yourself|the best newspaperman you ever had. {9706}{9758}At 40 per.|When do I start? {9761}{9808}Don't push. {9810}{9883}- I hope I haven't scared you off.|- Well, I don't know. {9886}{9953}I'm not afraid of a libel suit,|because I'm a lawyer myself. {9956}{10003}Check and double-check|everyword I print. {10006}{10051}Sure. Belt and suspenders. {10054}{10147}About that publisher's wife -You should|know Mrs. Boot is a grandmother three times. {10150}{10224}Ifyou wanna start something with her,|she'd be very flattered. {10226}{10274}As for drinking - Doyou drink a lot? {10276}{10323}Not a lot.|Just frequently. {10326}{10390}We have a shop rule here.|No liquor on the premises. {10393}{10456}- Uh, how about smoking?|- Of course. {10458}{10527}And, uh, I pay 60 a week in this shop. {10554}{10614}I'll take it. {10664}{10717}- Where's my desk?|- The one by the door. {10719}{10770}You may be outta here by Saturday. {10809}{10856}The sooner the better. {10972}{11025}[ Typing] {11511}{11583}Thanks, Geronimo.|Take these over to the engraver's. {11610}{11680}- What's this mess?|- They haven't got any chopped chicken liver. {11682}{11745}- I brought you some chicken tacos.|- Chicken tacos? {11748}{11795}They're not gonna chop the livers|anymore foryou. {11798}{11867}Nobody else'll buy them.|And no more garlic pickles. {11950}{12022}When the history|ofthis sunbaked Siberia is written... {12025}{12092}these shameful words|will live in infamy: {12094}{12142}"No chopped chicken liver."' {12201}{12273}No garlic pickles. {12275}{12363}No Lindy's.|No Madison Square Garden. {12366}{12413}No Yogi Berra. {12443}{12499}What doyou know about Yogi Berra,|Miss Deverich? {12502}{12553}- I beg your pardon?|- Yogi Berra! {12556}{12629}Yogi? Why, it's a sort|of religion, isn't it? {12632}{12723}You bet it is - a belief|in the New YorkYankees. {12753}{12812}You know what's wrong|with New Mexico, Mr. Wendell? {12814}{12881}Too much outdoors. {12883}{12931}Give me those eight spindly trees... {12934}{12989}in front of Rockefeller Center any day. {12992}{13060}That's enough outdoors for me. {13062}{13149}No subways smelling sweet-sour. {13186}{13251}[ Shouting ]|What doyou use for noise around here? {13254}{13313}No beautiful roar|from eight million ants - {13315}{13363}fighting, cursing, loving. {13400}{13466}No shows.|No South Pacifiic. {13491}{13583}No chic little dames|across a crowded bar. {13611}{13658}And worst of all, Herbie... {13660}{13730}no 80th floor to jump from|when you feel like it. {13733}{13803}Is this one ofyour|long-playing records, Chuck? {13806}{13853}Let's hear the other side. {13880}{13950}All right.|I'll play it foryou. {13953}{14061}When I came here, I thought this was|gonna be a 30-day stretch, maybe 60. {14064}{14111}Now it's a year. {14114}{14161}It looks like a life sentence. {14163}{14256}Where is it?|Where's the loaf ofbread with a file in it? {14258}{14327}Where's that big story|to get me outta here? {14358}{14421}Oneyear, and what's our hot news? {14424}{14471}A soapbox derby. {14496}{14597}A tornado - that double-crossed us|and went to Texas. {14599}{14673}An old goofwho said he was|the real Jesse James - {14676}{14731}until they found out he was|a chicken thieffrom Gallup... {14734}{14804}by the name of, uh,|Schimmelmacher. {14834}{14928}I'm stuck here, fans.|Stuck for good. {14970}{15016}Unless, of course, you - {15018}{15111}Miss Deverich,|instead ofwriting household hints... {15114}{15184}about how to remove|chili stains from blue jeans... {15186}{15245}getyourselfinvolved|in a trunk murder. {15271}{15323}How about it, Miss Deverich? {15326}{15411}I could do wonders|with your dismembered body. {15414}{15461}Oh, Mr. Tatum. Really. {15463}{15509}[ Growls ] {15549}{15605}Oryou, Mr. Wendell. {15608}{15679}Ifyou'd only toss that cigar|out ofthe window - {15682}{15795}real far, all the way|to Los Alamos - {15798}{15846}And boom! {15849}{15909}[ Chuckles ]|Now there would be a story. {15953}{16024}I told you no liquor in the office. {16026}{16074}I thought I could trust you. {16076}{16145}What a suspicious nature|you have, Mr. Boot. {16211}{16258}Pretty, isn't it? {16261}{16334}I make those things every night when|I go home, out of matches and toothpicks. {16337}{16401}- It calms my nerves.|- [ Chuckles ] {16404}{16454}Sorry, Tatum. {16457}{16519}- Maybeyou do need a change.|- Do I. {16522}{16614}And I got news foryou. You're going|out oftown for a couple of days. {16617}{16685}- How far and in what direction?|- Los Barrios County. {16687}{16751}They're having a rattlesnake hunt,|and I wantyou to cover it. {16754}{16804}- A rattlesnake hunt?|- That's right. {16806}{16872}And take Herbie along.|Let's get some art. {16874}{16961}A rattlesnake hunt.|Well, isn't that ginger-peachy? {16963}{17018}A real "stop the press,"|"pull out the front page"... {17021}{17068}"get ready to replate" assignment. {17070}{17118}Have a nice time, Chuck.|See the country. {17120}{17175}And don't worry.|I'll put the paper to bed. {17244}{17328}Well, it looks like we're starting|our second yearwith a real bang. {17362}{17410}Okay, fan, pack up. {17643}{17733}You know, this could be a pretty good story,|Chuck. Don't sell it short. {17735}{17788}It's quite a sight -|a thousand rattlers in the underbrush... {17790}{17853}and a lot of men smoking them out|and bashing in their heads. {17856}{17949}Big deal. A thousand rattlers|in the underbrush. {18007}{18082}Give me just 50 ofthem|loose in Albuquerque. {18107}{18166}Like that leopard in Oklahoma City. {18168}{18220}Thewhole town in panic. {18222}{18305}Deserted streets.|Barricaded houses. {18308}{18364}They're evacua...
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