{1}{72}/SubEdit b.3945 (http://subedit.prv.pl)/ {2066}{2090}Yeah. {2138}{2213}- Incoming.|- Here you go. {2256}{2302}- Iqbal, order up!|- Hey! {2305}{2342}Hey, did Humera get that promotion yet? {2345}{2386}The boss is gonna think about it.|It's looking good. {2389}{2413}Nice. {2454}{2495}Lon. Lon. Lon! {2533}{2584}Jimmy Buffett. Who? {2586}{2627}Sleeping, buddy? {2630}{2678}No, adjustmenting. {2731}{2786}Crikey, is it time to close this bitch|or what? {2788}{2825}We got about another hour. {2827}{2876}Lon, you ever thought about|getting the laser eye surgery? {2878}{2950}They say only about one in 1,500 people|don't see results. {2953}{3036}That's a risk I'm not willing to take. {3038}{3062}See you. {3102}{3167}- Mom, can I get this?|- No, honey, it's too expensive. {3170}{3201}Please. But I really want this. {3203}{3274}Actually that's 40% off. Open box policy. {3277}{3346}- Today's your lucky day, buddy.|- Wow, tell him thank you. {3348}{3377}Thank you. {3451}{3502}- Hi, Zack.|- Hey. What's up, Semi? {3505}{3545}My mom made you some blueberry muffins. {3547}{3585}Oh, what a sweetheart. {3587}{3649}That is where you get your charm from,|isn't it, Semi? {3651}{3685}I guess so. {3754}{3778}Damn it! {3856}{3961}Not this month, Zack. Not this month. {4116}{4150}Who's Anal? {4152}{4206}It's anal, dumb-ass. {4209}{4247}Anal? You do? {4271}{4351}Since when are you in the business|of asking me questions? {4354}{4394}This is cashier number one. {4396}{4481}Tell Zack he's messed with the bull|one too many times. {4483}{4542}The bull's in the china shop. {4545}{4630}I am the bull, he is the china shop. {4633}{4695}My uncle had a bull. Big cojones. {4698}{4762}Jorge's uncle had a... {4806}{4918}Do not speak to me when I am on-line. {4975}{5061}Hey, man. Looks like you're in trouble, guy. {5063}{5153}Let's just focus here, okay, Russell?|Let's look what we got here. {5155}{5205}My dented deviled ham {5207}{5284}for your crushed bread|and broken peanut-butter-and-jelly jars. {5286}{5369}Wait a minute.|PB and J, that's like gold, man. {5371}{5481}Deviled ham is almost a spiritual meal. {5522}{5586}Okay, fine. You're on. {5594}{5693}- Well, let's go then.|- Let's go. {5695}{5756}- One, two, three!|- One, two, three! {5758}{5813}- Paper covers rock! All me!|- Damn. {5815}{5871}Cameron, bag up my stuff for me.|I'll take that. {5874}{6004}- Now, that's not part of the deal, guy.|- Heads up. {6006}{6062}It smells like ass. {6069}{6100}He's so... {6169}{6237}- Have you seen Zack?|- No? {6239}{6306}Well, I bet if he were covered|in chocolate and had a nougat inside, {6308}{6413}you'd know exactly where he were at. {6494}{6562}- That your pen?|- I don't know. {6565}{6621}- Well, where did you get it?|- I don't know. {6623}{6686}- Who gave it to you?|- I don't know. {6688}{6782}Is your name Semi because you're the size|of a huge Mack truck, {6784}{6836}or because you're semi-retarded? {6838}{6902}- I don't know.|- Idiot. {6904}{6977}Attention Super Club shoppers.|We're closing in five minutes. {6979}{7091}So if you could please|finish in five minutes, that would be great. {7094}{7146}- There you are.|- You're in deep, homes. {7148}{7238}- He does not do anal.|- That's too bad for you, Jorge. {7240}{7271}Do you know what this is? {7274}{7348}Yes. That is a 10-times-larger-than-life|replica of your penis. {7350}{7410}Oh, that's hilarious. {7426}{7506}I realize that you don't care about|your job, but I do. {7508}{7556}And I want to thank you|for caring about my job, really. {7558}{7600}My job, jerk-off. {7602}{7649}You know, it's funny. For the past 10 years, {7651}{7736}I've been climbing|the Super Club food chain, as planned. {7738}{7810}But you, you haven't moved at all. {7813}{7858}I'm almost at the top. {7860}{7980}It goes manager, section manager,|head cashier, cashier, stocker, {7982}{8075}clean-up crew, night clean-up guy,|and lastly, box boy. {8078}{8117}- That's what you are.|- That's me. {8119}{8206}Yeah. That's why you can't|come into the cashiers' lounge. {8209}{8240}You know, after all this time, {8242}{8301}you'd think you'd understand|that you're the lowest of the low. {8303}{8354}Yeah, the lowest of the low. {8356}{8394}Aren't you a box boy, too, Jorge? {8397}{8446}Oh yeah, but he's my box boy. {8448}{8498}Yeah, I'm his box boy. {8501}{8553}Your love for him|concerns and confuses me. {8555}{8606}You listen to me, jerk-off,|and you listen well. {8609}{8664}- Chill, boss, it's Glen.|- Mr. Gary. {8666}{8710}- Mr. Gary.|- Hey, what do you say, boss-man? {8713}{8777}Good evening, gentlemen.|Meeting in 60 seconds, {8779}{8840}and I've got big news. {8842}{8887}Thanks for being prompt. {8890}{8967}Well, we got the call from Corporate,|and it's official. {8970}{9023}Today Vince broke|the check-stand speed record {9026}{9133}and has been officially recognized|as the fastest in the southwest region. {9135}{9203}Needless to say,|you've earned this one, Vince. {9206}{9290}Dirk, go ahead. Put the star up. {9293}{9345}Congratulations to Vince, {9347}{9427}employee of the month|for 17 months in a row. {9430}{9509}- Yeah. Yeah.|- He always wins. {9511}{9574}As most of you know,|if Vince gets to number 18, {9576}{9622}he'll go into the hall of fame, {9624}{9686}he'll be put on|the fast track for management, {9688}{9810}and he'll win a brand-newish|2005 Chevy Malibu! {9812}{9870}- Yeah!|- All right! {9884}{9975}I realize that Vince has won|the last 17 in a row, but hey, {9978}{10012}it's anybody's ball game. {10014}{10081}And I like to encourage|everyone to compete. {10083}{10185}A little extra effort could earn you a star.|It really could. {10187}{10296}So grab a broom, help a lost customer,|pick up a spill. {10298}{10362}Don't be afraid to go above and beyond. {10365}{10410}I welcome all challengers. {10412}{10466}"I welcome all challengers." {10469}{10517}I am so proud of you. {10519}{10644}Well, nobody has ever been to the magic 18|before, so this is a really big deal, people. {10646}{10757}The store will close early on the 30th|for a special banquet award show. {10759}{10783}Yeah. {10806}{10880}Now, it'll be semi-formal and mandatory, {10882}{10927}which means|church clothes, please, everyone. {10930}{10981}- Mandatory?|- It'll be fun to dress up. {10983}{11142}Corporate will be there and we need|everybody to be at your very best behavior. {11145}{11236}- Sorry, sir.|- Why'd you do that? {11238}{11362}Lastly, we'll have a new cashier|joining the team tomorrow. {11365}{11409}- Her name is...|- Amy Renfroe. {11411}{11435}Amy... {11442}{11533}So please make her feel welcome. {11573}{11645}Yeah, let's give her|a warm Super Club welcome. {11647}{11724}- Super Club!|- Super Club! {11734}{11794}- Yeah, Super Club.|- Super Club. {11796}{11844}Thank you, Vince. {11858}{11922}All right, everybody, be safe out there. {11925}{12011}Now, don't forget to sign-up|for the softball game against Maxi-Mart, {12014}{12066}'cause we need players. {12069}{12098}How could you do that? {12101}{12207}Hey, guy, we're headed over|to the Steaksmith for a drink. You in? {12210}{12252}No. I'm having dinner|with the old lady tonight. {12254}{12290}Need a lift? {12337}{12361}No. {12659}{12790}- Where's that beautiful lady of mine?|- Right in here. I'm on my last Scratcher. {12793}{12835}Grandma, I think it's time that you invest {12838}{12916}in something a little less speculative. {12918}{13003}You really think I should take|financial advice from you? {13006}{13063}One-nothing, Grandma. {13307}{13372}What have we got here?|Okay, pay attention. {13374}{13463}Where's it going? What's that? {13470}{13567}Oh, Lean Pockets.|Somebody takes care of themselves. {13570}{13650}Oh, well, now, I refuse to believe|that's not your natural hair color. {13652}{13683}Oh, stop it! {13686}{13715}Oh, that's a lot of lotion. {13718}{13770}Somebody's gonna|pamper themselves tonight. {13772}{13798}Maybe I will. {13800}{13878}Your total is $69.60... Just kidding, $24.08. {13881}{13965}Oh, gosh, did you get these|here at Super Club? {13967}{14038}Oh, they smell wonderful. They really do. {14041}{14130}Look at them.|Like moths around a dim yellow bulb. {14133}{14176}Yeah, he's like Cirque du Soleil over there. {14178}{14222}Oh, the Zumanity. {14224}{14306}Anyone can do that. Anyone could do that. {14309}{14410}Okay, and you've been|employee of the month how many times? {14412}{14445}He's got a point. {14447}{14474}Wait a second here. {14477}{14537}You have no idea how much planning|and energy it takes {14539}{14621}to keep such a low profile, okay?|It's practically an art, what I do. {14623}{14702}- Zack, boxes needed at checkout four.|- I'm on it. {14704}{14734}- Hey, guys.|- Hey, what's up, Semi? {14736}{14827}Do me a favor. Can you bring|some boxes over to checkout four? {14830}{14854}Okay. {14890}{14973}- Yeah.|- It's quite an art. {15018}{15066}Now, that's art. {15283}{15344}She is totally untouchable. {15346}{15413}No, she's hot,|but every girl's got a vulnerable place. {15415}{15487}Yeah, it's called the dingly. {15490}{15546}I'll see you guys later. {15548}{15647}Hey, Zack, don't forget Sasha... Tasha...|Mikhal has soccer practice at 11:00. {15650}{15683}- You're covering for me.|- Got it. {15686}{15736}Excuse me,|do you have a membership card? {15738}{15789}Sir, I work here. {15813}{15858}- Really?|- What's going on, Joe? {15861}{15929}This lady doesn't have a membership card. {15931}{16050}- Oh, I'll take it from here, bro.|- Yeah, go to it, Zack. {16052}{16098}Listen, I'm gonna let you pass this time, {16100}{16200}but next time you might want to use|the "my dog ate it" excuse. {16202}{16240}Maybe wear an eye patch or something. {16242}{16286}Because nobody's gonna believe|you work here. {16289}{16386}No seriously, it's supposed to be|my first day. I just transferred from 232. ...
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