Anthony Barnhart - Flowers Quickly Fading.pdf - Anthony Barnhart - widez2

F LOWERS Q UICKLY

F ADING

a romantic tragedy by

Anthony Barnhart

Flowers Quickly Fading

Anthony Barnhart

Flowers Quickly Fading

Prologue

By the time you read this, I will be gone.

To be completely transparent, I am left empty of words to write down. It is

funny, because when I sat down with pen and paper, the words seemed to be

black-and-white, ready to be dredged from the back of my mind and placed on

paper in perfect order. But when I sat down, none of those ‘black-and-white’

words came to me. And this is where I am now. So many thoughts are coming, so

many untouchable images that words fail to describe, are trying to find their way

onto this notebook paper. It’s ironic. Finally I can force someone to hear my

story, to see it from my angle, but the way I tell it in my head is impossible for me

to translate onto paper. Emotions, memories, feelings, hopes, dreams, despairs

and fears guide the story within, and how can I accurately tell you what this brew

of voiceless thoughts describes? Quite simply, I can’t.

You know what happened. You were there all along. My goal is not to simply

tell you what happened. I hope this does so much more than that. I am hoping this

is a window into my soul. Although you witnessed those things I am going to

describe, although you saw it with your eyes, you were denied its true power and

experience, simply because you aren’t me . I want to show you what happened, not

just from my eyes but from my heart, the wellspring of life. I want to show you

this so you can, if possible, see the entire picture… and maybe even understand.

Please. Don’t judge me.

I feel I have no other choice.

And maybe, when you finish this, you’ll agree.

So I am going to turn the page and start telling my story. I’m certainly no expert

storyteller, so I will just try to tell this story as best I can. I don’t think I’ll change

my mind.

I’ve already bought the pills.

But life's no story book

Love is an excuse to get hurt

And to hurt

"Do you like to hurt?"

Anthony Barnhart

Flowers Quickly Fading

"I do! I do!"

"Then hurt me."

- Bright Eyes, Lover I Don’t Have to Love

Anthony Barnhart

Flowers Quickly Fading

Chapter One

(When this began)

I had nothing to say

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find

That I’m not the only person with these things in mind

(Inside of me)

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel

(Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

- Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong

So where do I begin? Again, I really don’t know. I just want to get on with it, my

entire being cries out for its completion, but I know I can’t duck out prematurely.

I am going to have to start at the beginning, yes, before I even met her, though she

is the epiphany of this entire work. Without her, this note or letter or whatever

you want to call it would never be written. I have to start at the very beginning.

Our story finds its core recently, but without the past, it would be rather

meaningless and empty, wouldn’t it?

I was born in a cold, white-washed, blue-tile Augusta hospital during the winter

of 1988. I was born either on the nineteenth or twentieth, depending on who you

talk to. Was I born on 11:59 pm on the nineteenth or 12:00 am on the twentieth?

The nurses say the former, but the doctor who proceeded over my birth says, “The

twentieth.” So that’s why I go with, though I can never really be sure. The day

before my birthday I always wonder, “Am I a year older yet?” I know it sounds

stupid, but that’s what it’s like. Sometimes my thoughts are random and

disjointed, and since this writing is flowing not from an outline but from the

jumbled thoughts attempting form and function within my head, you will no

doubt see the chaos and uncertainty of my thoughts.

Anthony Barnhart

Anthony Barnhart - Flowers Quickly Fading.pdf

Plik z chomika:

Inne pliki z tego folderu:

Inne foldery tego chomika: