Northern Exposure 306 The body in question.txt

[1210][1232]Where did you find him, Chris?
[1233][1254]West fork of the No-name.
[1254][1283]Must've broken off that|glacier field up in Box Canyon.
[1284][1302]Oh, I don't know.
[1303][1334]You know, landing the big ones|is really the hard part.
[1334][1353]He has gentle eyes.
[1354][1380]Does he look French to you?
[1381][1400]Well, maybe.
[1400][1424]Ready in the freezer?
[1425][1449]Yeah, just one more box of mooseburgers|to move around, boss.
[1449][1478]Well, step on it there, Dave.|We're losin' him here.
[1479][1512]- Okay, okay.|- Hi, Dr. Fleischman. Isn't it stimulating?
[1513][1545]All depends, Shelly.|This is our stiff, I take it.
[1546][1570]He was a fine specimen|in his time.
[1571][1603]This ice must be, what,|six or eight feet thick.
[1603][1642]Our guess is he's been frozen|a hundred years. Maybe more.
[1643][1672]- The leggings are a dead giveaway.|- You're joking, right?
[1673][1704]No way this body's more|than a year old, if it is even a body,
[1705][1728]excuse me, which I doubt.
[1729][1757]Looks more like a mannequin|or a wax dummy maybe.
[1757][1795]Well, whatever it is, it's Chris's find.|He's donated it to Cicely.
[1796][1822]It's a historic landmark.|What we plan to do,
[1823][1851]Whoa, wait a minute.|You have to contact the authorities.
[1852][1888]- I thought you said it was a dummy.|- If it's not a dummy, it's a body.
[1889][1919]If it's a body, it's somebody's body, which|means the authorities have to be notified.
[1920][1965]As far as I'm concerned,|after a hundred years,|carrion becomes memorabilia.
[1966][1994]Comin' through.|Watch your backs. Comin' through.
[1995][2013]Hey, be careful, Dave!
[2014][2054]Look, even if he is real,|he can't be a hundred years old.
[2055][2091]I thought cryogenics could preserve|a body for centuries, Fleischman.
[2091][2116]See, once again a little PBS|proves a dangerous thing.
[2117][2156]Cryogenics is a laboratory science,|liquid helium, controlled conditions.
[2157][2182]I mean, in the wild,|autolysis and putrefaction...
[2182][2211]must follow necrosis|like, uh, night follows day.
[2212][2248]Animals die here all the time. Has anyone|ever seen a frozen moose on a stick?
[2249][2280]No. Nature reclaims its own.
[2281][2306]- How do you explain this?|- What is it?
[2307][2334]- It's his journal.|- What? Anyone can own a journal.
[2335][2373]- It's in French.|- You're a Canuck, Holling.|Why don't you give it a try?
[2374][2399]My French is awful rusty.
[2400][2427]Be careful, my friend.|You're opening a portal to the past.
[2428][2473]Let's see. It's the diary|of Pierre Le, uh, Moulin.
[2473][2499]April the 2nd.|1814.
[2500][2539]- 1814?|- Well, come on.|If that doesn't tell you something.
[2539][2563]"All is lost. Paris fallen."
[2564][2593]- "Emperor in foul mood."|- Emperor?
[2593][2612]- What emperor?|- Napol?on.
[2613][2637]Oh, right.|And I'm Pep? Le Pew.
[2637][2661]- Keep going, Holling.|- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[2662][2683]I can't. I'm, I have to get|my reading glasses.
[2684][2709]- Oh, here. Here. I'll try.|- Oh, this oughta be good.
[2709][2735]Fleischman, I had a semester|at the Sorbonne.
[2736][2786]"Emperor still angry with Talleyrand."
[2787][2805]"Elba not bad."
[2806][2836]"Elba not bad"? What is that?|The radical chic translation?
[2837][2872]"Elba pas mal."|How would you say it, Fleischman?
[2873][2893]Who's Elba?
[2894][2919]- She's an island, honey.|- Oh.
[2919][2943]Hey, whatever is in that freezer,|I guarantee...
[2943][2977]it is not a 200-year-old Frenchman|who was buddies with Napol?on.
[2978][3009]- Why should we take your word for it?|- Fine. Wheel him out here...
[3010][3032]and turn up the heat,|and I'll prove it.
[3032][3063]Oh, no. Nobody defrosts Pierre.
[3110][3131]Hey, hey! Hold it there.
[3132][3168]Go for the back of the knee.|Less chance of defacement.
[3169][3187]Excuse me. Excuse me.
[3188][3213]Dave, we're in the middle|of something here.
[3214][3245]We're out of fries.|Got people to feed.
[3246][3264]Drill.
[3265][3289]You're not gonna believe this.|Understatement of the hour.
[3290][3336]"June 21, 1815. Terrible storm."
[3337][3366]- "Made landfall last night."|- Landfall?
[3367][3392]- Shore.|- Shore where?
[3393][3412]- Here.|- Here where?
[3413][3432] -Here, here.|- Alaska?
[3433][3456]Listen to this. "June 28."
[3456][3499]"Napol?on still depressed|over missing Waterloo."
[3500][3546]Oh, wonderful! I love it!|Now Napol?on wasn't|at the Battle of Waterloo.
[3547][3586]It gets better.|"July 11. Fished all morning."
[3587][3633]"Met Matchka, enchanting native girl.|Emperor enthralled."
[3634][3660]Hot-blooded little Corsican,|wasn't he?
[3661][3679]Here's the last entry.
[3680][3721]"Two days to coast,|then good-bye a l'Alaska."
[3721][3751]"Sad to leave emperor|but miss Paris so."
[3751][3776]Come on, you guys. Get serious.
[3776][3805]If this dummy is Napol?on's buddy,|then I'm the queen of Spain.
[3831][3849]We have skin.
[3882][3912]Pierre's the first celebrity|we've ever had in Cicely.
[3912][3939]Well, the first dead celebrity anyway.
[3940][3962]I don't know much about Napol?on.
[3963][4004]I always thought it was funny,|them naming a guy after a little flaky pastry.
[4019][4059]I wonder why he left France.|I mean, he was emperor, right?
[4060][4097]- Uh-huh.|- Who quits the business when|they're at the top of the charts?
[4098][4118]Well, he had some troubles at home.
[4118][4142]Relationship problems?
[4143][4183]No, I was thinking along the lines|of a popular revolt.
[4184][4234]But now that you mention it,|he could have been fleeing some bad|vibes in the romance department.
[4235][4257]What happened?
[4258][4286]Well, he had to ditch|his beloved Josephine...
[4287][4310]because she couldn't bear|him children,
[4311][4333]and complications ensued.
[4334][4358]He dumped her because of that?
[4358][4377]It's very important|to some men, Shel.
[4377][4416]Napol?on wanted a son,|an heir to carry on the Bonaparte name.
[4416][4446]How's the gooseberry pie today?
[4446][4470]- Shel?|- Huh?
[4471][4504]- Gooseberry pie?|- Oh, we ran out.
[4505][4523]Hmm.
[4543][4569]Mornin', Ruth-Anne.
[4570][4612]Oh, hi, Ed. I can put your name|on a waiting list.
[4613][4633]Oh. Thanks, Ruth-Anne.
[4633][4656]- Number 17.|- What's the list for?
[4656][4688]You didn't come in|for books on Napol?on?
[4688][4719]No, but that's|an excellent idea.
[4720][4741]Well, what|can I get you then?
[4741][4763]Oh, I came in|because of the sign in the window.
[4764][4809]- "Special on Huggies"?|- No, the "Help Wanted" sign.
[4810][4840]Oh. Aren't you working|for Maurice anymore?
[4841][4882]Oh, yeah. Well, he's real busy|mapping out the future,
[4883][4910]and I could use the extra money.
[4911][4940]I just sent my latest script in|to a real Hollywood producer.
[4941][4961]Is this to a person you know, Ed?
[4962][4997]Oh, no. He ran this ad|in American Film.
[5011][5030]"Write scripts that sell."
[5031][5061]"Critical analysis|of your script, $200."
[5062][5104]Two hundred dollars? I assume|whoever this is has sold a lot of scripts.
[5104][5124]Oh, I hope so.
[5124][5148]Were you looking for|any kind of help in particular?
[5149][5170]I don't have much background|in retail work.
[5171][5201]Restocking, labeling,|you know, general help.
[5219][5239]I could do that.
[5250][5273]Animal, vegetable|or mineral, Fleischman?
[5274][5304]Animal. Human animal.
[5305][5335]Pierre is definitely human. Or was.
[5335][5361]All right!|Good job, Fleischman.
[5362][5388]Great work.|Now we can move to phase two.
[5389][5410]Well, I don't want to rain|on your cadaver, Maurice,
[5411][5441]but all we've confirmed is that Pierre|was a living, breathing person.
[5441][5475]- Yeah. What else could there be?|- Well, I can't put an estimate|on his date of expiration.
[5476][5502]- Why not?|- I just, I don't have the equipment.
[5503][5545]Fleischman! The must crucial|piece of equipment in any mission...
[5546][5565]is the man in charge.
[5566][5584]Now, you're a scientist.
[5585][5609]But more important,|you're a New Yorker.
[5610][5639]You were born|with an innate skepticism,
[5640][5686]a natural sense of superiority|in the way of the world.
[5686][5713]You've got all the equipment|right here.
[5713][5750]All I'm asking is|that you use it for me.
[5751][5777]For Cicely.
[5777][5803]Well, I suppose I could devise|a few tests.
[5804][5822]I could examine the fabric.
[5823][5843]Good boy. I knew|I could count on you.
[5844][5876]I'm gonna put all my plans on hold|until you sign off on Frenchie here.
[5951][5977]History is powerful stuff.
[5978][6014]One day your world's fine, the next,|it's knocked for a metaphysical loop.
[6015][6055]Was Napol?on really at Waterloo?|Would that change what I had for breakfast?
[6055][6098]Thoughts turn to our|refrigerated friend, Pierre Le Moulin.
[6099][6118]Pierre the Windmill.
[6119][6141]Stepchild to history.
[6141][6174]Man, if those chapped lips could speak,|what would they say?
[6174][6204]Bonjour? Mes amis, j'ai faim?
[6231][6255]I saw your lips moving|from across the room, O'Connell.
[6256][6287]Gotten to the part yet where they meet up|with Kit Carson and Buffalo Bill?
[6287][6307]Oh, Fleischman,|park it somewhere else.
[6308][6338]- Any other bombshells to drop?|- She's pregnant.
[6339][6363]- Who?|- Matchka.
[6364][6390]The little guy|finally got one in the oven.
[6391][6424]- Yeah.|- This is almost touching.|I mean, really, the naivet?.
[6425][6468]Has anyone stopped|to consider the sheer absurdity|of what we're talking about?
[6469][6493]What? You mean Matchka|gettin' preggers so quick?
[6494][6516]I mean Pierre and Napol?on.|How did they get here?
[6517][6537]747? QE2?
[6538][6580]Where did ...