Danny cradled Ryan in his arms as their breathing returned to normal. Ryan's head rested on his shoulder. Sweat dripped from his forehead onto Danny's hot skin. Danny could still feel Ryan's cock pulsing inside of him. It felt so wonderful.
Two lovers flushed from joining together in the most intimate of acts between two people. Danny could feel the love he felt for Ryan beating in every thump of their hearts where they pressed together, chest to chest. It was a perfect moment in time.
Then Ryan started speaking and Danny's whole world came crashing down around his ears. "Danny, we can't do this again I can't see you anymore."
"What?" Danny whispered in shock. What did he mean they couldn't see each other anymore? They had just had mind blowing sex, the most intense of his life. How could Ryan want to end this?
Ryan shifted until he was leaning up on his elbows looking down at Danny. His face was filled with regret but there was conviction in his words. "We can't see each other anymore, not like this."
"I don't understand. Did… did I do something wrong?"
Ryan shook his head. "Sam's has feelings for you. He wants you. If he found out we were seeing each other it would crush him. I can't do that to him. I can't hurt my son like that."
"What about me? What about how this hurting me?" Danny cried out. This couldn't be happening. Ryan was everything he had always wanted in his life. He thought that things were perfect between them. They had just made love… hadn't they?
"How can you do this now? Damn it, Ryan, you still have your cock buried in my ass. What was this? A last fuck before you leave me?"
"Danny—"
Danny pushed against Ryan's shoulders until he pulled out and rolled off of him. He quickly swung his legs over the side of the bed. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of hands, trying to stop the flow of tears that suddenly sprung up in them.
"Danny, I'm sorry," Ryan whispered as he scooted to the edge of the bed to sit next to Danny.
"Please don't do this, Ryan." Danny knew he was begging. He couldn't help himself. He loved Ryan with everything in him. Ryan was his soul mate. Danny that the moment he first met Ryan.
"I don't want to do this, baby, but—"
"Then don't!" Danny realized that he was nearly yelling at Ryan. He took several deep breaths to try and regain control of his emotions but his heart sank even more as he watched as Ryan stood up and began pulling his clothes on. He finally looked away, unable to watch his lover of three months walk away from him
"Danny, you don't understand. Sam loves you."
Danny's head whipped up to look at Ryan. "What?"
Ryan's head dropped to his chest, his light sandy brown hair waved around his face as he slowly shook his head. "He told me before I even knew that you two were friends. He's in love with you."
Ryan lifted his head, Danny could see the pleading in Ryan's eyes for understanding. He had none to give. "Now do you see why I can't do this?"
"No. I don't love Sam. I love you."
"Danny—" Ryan began.
"No!" Danny cried out. "No, I will never love Sam, not like that. I love you."
"You could love him if you tried."
Danny stared at Ryan in shock, his jaw dropping open. "You want me to love Sam? What about us?"
Ryan shook his regretfully. "There can never be an us, not now. I can't do that to Sam. You have to understand. He's my son, Danny, the only family I have left."
"I could be your family." Danny dreamed about it in fact. Ryan was everything Danny always wanted. He reached out and grabbed Ryan's hands, desperate for the man t change his mind. "We could build a family together."
"Don't do this, Ryan. Please don't do this." Danny could feel tears start to stream down his face as he begged Ryan not to end what they had together. And he could have cared less that he was begging. What they had together was too important to give up without a fight. "We have something special together. Don't throw it away."
Ryan pushed Danny's hands away and started backing across the room towards the bedroom door. "I'm sorry, Danny."
Danny held a hand out to Ryan in desperation. "Please, Ryan, I love you. Don't do this. Please don't leave me," he begged. He knew he sounded pathetic. He couldn't help it. The best thing that had ever happened to him was walking out the door. He'd do anything, no matter how humiliating, to keep Ryan here. Pride didn't matter in the face of losing the only man he would ever love.
"I have to, Danny."
"I love you, Ryan. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" The hysteria Danny was feeling as his heart broke into a million pieces started slipping through in his voice.
Ryan stood in the doorway, staring at Danny for several long moments. He was so quiet for so long that Danny started hoping that he had finally gotten through to the man. Maybe Ryan would change his mind and not leave now.
Danny slowly stood to his feet and walked over to Ryan. He reached for him, his hands holding Ryan's face still as he started giving him quick little kisses all over. "Please stay, Ryan."
Kiss.
"I love you."
"I can make you happy, Ryan."
"I'll do anything you want."
Ryan suddenly grabbed Danny's hands and pushed him away so hard that Danny fell to the floor. His beautiful face was a hardened mask of determination as he gazed down at Danny's naked body.
"Then love my son."
Danny reached for Ryan as he walked away. "No, Ryan… I love you… Don't… don't go…Ryan!" he wailed as Ryan opened the front door and walked out, the door closing quietly behind him. Danny stared at the closed door briefly before he fell to the floor, curling into a ball, his arms wrapped tightly around his naked stomach.
This couldn't be happening. Ryan did not just give him away to his son, Sam. It just wasn't possible. This had to be some sort of horrible nightmare and any minute now his alarm clock would go off and he would wake up and this will all be over.
Danny lay there, waiting for the alarm clock to go off… any minute now… Damn! Why wasn't the alarm going off? He needed to wake up from this horrible dream where Ryan didn't want him…
Ryan didn't want him!
"Oh, god… Ryan," Danny began sobbing as reality set in. "Please don't leave me… Ryan…" he whispered as the tears continued flowing down his face. This was really happening. Ryan had really left him so Sam could have him. This was a living nightmare and it was never going to end.
Danny held his arms tight around his stomach as sobs racked his trembling body. The pain in his chest was so intense he thought he was going to die. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. It hurt to feel. It just hurt.
Ryan must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew the morning light shined through the bedroom windows. He still lay on the floor, naked. Another sob started to come from his throat as he realized that he was still alone.
And Ryan was still gone!
Danny climbed to his feet and went into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and climbed in. He bowed his head and let the hot water spray on his chilled body. He was so cold, so very cold. He didn't know if he would ever be warm again.
He washed his hair and scrubbed his body until his skin was rubbed nearly raw. When the water began to turn cold he finally climbed out. He slowly dried himself off and went back to the bedroom to dress.
Danny on the side of the bed but the site of the dried stains on the sheets from his earlier interlude made him grimace. He quickly pulled the sheets off the bed and went to put them in the washer.
Just before dropping the last sheet in the washer he lifted it to his face and inhaled. He felt a shock pain shoot through his body as Ryan's scent filled him. He held the dirty sheet against his face for several moments, drinking in Ryan's masculine fragrance.
He wanted to keep the sheet, to put it away in a safe place so he could pull it out and smell Ryan when the hurt got to be too much. He wanted just one thing to remind him when nothing else would do.
Who was he kidding? He wouldn't forget one damn thing about Ryan. He was ingrained on Danny's soul. Angrily shoving the sheet into the washer, he quickly turned it on before he could change his mind. He stood there and cried as the washer filled with water, taking away Ryan's sweet aroma.
Walking back into the bedroom he sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the phone. He took several deep breaths before dialing the phone number he knew by heart. The phone was answered on the fourth ring.
"Hey, Mom, it's Danny… can I come home?"
Danny placed the last box in the rental truck and closed the large metal door. Everything he owned was sitting in this little trailer. He walked back upstairs and looked around to see if he had missed anything. Going from room to room he looked. Nothing was left.
He closed the door and locked it before walking downstairs and dropping the key in the manager's lock box. That was it. His apartment was packed into the rental truck. He cleaned the place to the best of his ability and returned the key. There was nothing keeping him from leaving and heading h...
renee2010