Died and Gone to Heaven By DoUTrustMe.pdf

Died and Gone to Heaven By DoUTrustMe

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5958812/1/Died_and_Gone_to_Heaven

Accidents happen. Sometimes you die and meet God. Sometimes you live and meet SexGod. B&E.

AH. AU.

Chapter One: Doctor SexGod

"Am I dead?"

"No, you're not dead." The voice spoke to me from the darkness. It was god-like in its velvety

smoothness.

"Am I blind?"

I could hear amusement in the voice. "No, you're not blind, either."

"Why can't I see?"

"You have a bandage over one eye and the other eye is closed," the soft voice explained patiently.

"Oh." I tried to pry my eyes open. "I can't open my eyes."

"Well then, you should probably sleep."

"Okay, God."

"Who am I?" I asked.

"You don't know?" Velvet Voice sounded concerned at that.

"No."

"Do you know your first name?" Velvet Voice asked softly.

I tried to find it in inside my head somewhere, but couldn't. "No."

"Do you know what year this is?"

"Two thousand and ... something. Eight? Nine? Ten?"

"How old are you?"

"Somewhere between twenty five and twenty eight, I think."

"Do you know your name now?"

"No."

"What shall we call you then?"

"How about Tallulah? I've always liked that name."

"All right then, Tallulah, I want you to get some rest." Velvet Voice was caring and concerned.

"My arm hurts."

"It's broken. It's in a cast."

"How long have I been here?"

"A couple of days."

"Why don't I have to go to the bathroom?"

"You have a catheter. We can take it out as soon as you're up and around."

"Ew."

"It's better than the alternative."

"Who put in the catheter?"

"I did."

"Wasn't it gross?"

"I've put in lots of catheters."

"Oh." Was the voice gone? "You didn't look did you? At my lady bits?"

Velvet Voice was amused. "I had a peek."

"And?"

"I'm a doctor. I've seen lots of lady bits."

"Oh," I said disappointed. "I guess you didn't get a good look at my boobs then, because they are

spectacular and you wouldn't be so cavalier about seeing them."

"I'll make sure to examine them next time I come in."

"Are you God?"

"Just hold still for a minute." Velvet Voice was amused.

"What did you just do?"

"I put a pain killer in with your IV. It will help you rest until your head feels better."

"I've sinned you know."

"Have you?"

"You know I have. You know everything. You see everything."

"Then I guess I already know if you've sinned."

"I lusted."

"Who did you lust after?"

"I don't know, but he had a nice ass and I had fabulous sex with him in my dream."

"Did you?"

"I didn't see his face, though. But his hands were magic and his velvet voice was pure seduction."

"Was he worth sinning for?"

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Should I feel bad?"

"Do you feel bad?"

"No, I feel really good. Relaxed. Except that my arm hurts."

"It should heal nicely. It was a clean break. I've seen the x-rays."

"God?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have sex? With Mrs. God?"

"Not recently."

"You should."

"I'll take that under advisement."

I finally managed to pry one eye open. "God?"

"Mm." God was leaning over facing away from me checking some clear tubing on a pole.

"You have a nice ass, too."

God threw back his head and laughed as he walked out of the hospital room.

My head hurt. A lot. And there was rustling in my room.

"God, is that you?"

"If you want to call me that." Velvet Voice was back and levitating somewhere near my head.

I pried opened both eyes and saw sparkling green eyes in the face of an angel. Apparently, I had died

and gone to heaven.

"Can I have a mirror?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," his perfect lips said to me. I fixated on them.

"Am I hideous?"

"No, you're very pretty."

"I feel hideous."

"Do you? Why is that?"

"I need a bath."

"I could give you a sponge bath. Your stitches and cast shouldn't be soaked."

"You're a doctor, right? Not some perv off the street coming in to offer me a sponge bath?" I was

back to his eyes. I couldn't decide if his ass, eyes or his lips were better, but I thought I should look at

his eyes since he was sitting on his ass.

"So the certificates on my office wall say." His green eyes twinkled. "Don't worry. I've already seen

your lady bits. And I had a peek at your boobs while you were asleep. They are spectacular, but I'm a

real doctor. I don't just play one on T.V."

"Will it gross you out?"

"To give you sponge bath?"

"Yes. I'm really sweaty and yucky."

"I've seen much, much worse. You're very lucky." He ran his hand through his bronze-colored hair.

Oh, the hair! How could I have missed that? I added it to my list. Velvet voice. Biteable ass. Gorgeous

green bedroom eyes. Pouty lips made for kissing. Sex hair.

"Okay then."

"Okay what?"

"You can give me a sponge bath."

"Thank you ..." he said dryly. "... for that privilege."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't. I'm teasing you."

"Oh. Why won't you give me a mirror?"

"Because you've got a black eye and you're pretty bruised up and I'd like to clean the gunk out of

your hair first."

"Gunk. Is that a medical term?"

"Yes. It's Latin for 'I don't want you to panic if I say the word blood'."

"Why would I panic?"

"Some people panic."

"Not me."

"Good."

"Doctor God?"

"Yes."

"I'm panicking. Is there a lot of gunk?"

"There's a bit."

"Anything else?"

"Anything else what?"

"Anything else I should know about? Did I lose a spleen? Did I get a lobotomy?"

"Broken arm. Gunk in hair. Stitches in head. Scratches, cuts and bruises. You'll live. And a bit of

memory loss."

"A bit?"

"Well, you hit your head. It's probably temporary."

"Who do you think I am?"

"Who do you think you are?"

"Are you a psychiatrist? 'Cause I swear you just answered a question with a question."

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