Zelazny, Roger - SS - Here There Be Dragons.pdf

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Here There Be Dragons
byRoger Zelazny
Illustrated by Vaughn Bode
Chapter 1
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a king who was king of a very
smallcountry. Indeed,his kingdom was so small that most
peoplewere not even aware it existed.
The king thought that it was a fairly large kingdom,
though, as kingdoms went.This was because there were many
mountains around the place, mountains which were difficult to
climb. Because of these mountains, travelers wouldjust go on
around the kingdom, rather than go through it. And very few
peopleever left the kingdom, to come back and tell of other
Page 1
 
lands. People were pretty much afraid to do that.
They were afraid of the dragons.
They never saw any dragons, mind you, but they were afraid
of them. This is because all the mapsin the kingdom showed
that they were surrounded by dragons dragons here, dragons
there, dragons all over the place, all because of Mister
Gibberling.
Mister Gibberlingwas the Royal Cartographer. (That means
hewas the official mapmaker.) Mister Gibberling wasthe Royal
Cartographer because his father and his grandfather had been
Royal Cartographers. Mister Gibberling had learned his
professionfrom his father, who had learned it from his father.
Since people did not visit the kingdom very often, and the
king'ssubjects seldom crossed over the mountains themselves,
it was difficult for the Royal Cartographers to know exactly
whatto put down on their maps to show what was outside. So, as
he had learned from his father (who had learned it from his
father), whenever he did not know what to show as being in any
certain place, Mister Gibberling picked up his quill, and with
agreat flourish of the feather wrote (in fancy letters):
-HERE THERE BE DRAGONS-
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Then he would smile, because he had explained a new
territory. Of course, since he didnot really know what lay
beyond the mountains in any direction, it soon came to appear
thatthe entire world was infested with dragons. (Andhe would
draw little pictures of fire-breathing dragons, roaring and
flappingtheir wings, beneath what he wrote which certainly
didn'thelp to promote tourism.)
This is why everyone was afraid of the dragons they had
neverseen. If your father were to drive into a gas station and
askfor a road map, and it said, "HERE THERE BE DRAGONS" and it
showeda little picture such as the ones Mister Gibberling
drew, your father would take a dif- ferent route. So, since all
themaps in the kingdom showed dragons everywhere, breathing
flames andbeing mean, all the people in the kingdom stayed at
home, because there were no other routes.
Chapter 2
BUT THEN ONE DAY the king's daughter, the princess, was
goingto have a birthday, and the king wanted to celebrate it
ina special way.
"I want fireworks!" he said.
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"Yes, sire. A good idea," said his first adviser.
"Yes indeed, sire. A very good idea," said his second
adviser.
"Oh yes, great sire! A very, very good idea," said his
thirdadviser.
"Uh, where will we get them, sire?" asked his fourth
adviser, who was never too popular around the court (but his
dowager aunt was a good friend of the queen, so the king kept
him about, despite his habit of asking uncomfortable
questions).
"The man who used to manufacture fireworks died some ten
yearsago," he explained, "and he never trained anyone to take
hisplace. This is why there have been no fireworks displays in
recentyears."
"We shall simply have to get them," said the king,
"becauseI want them."
"Yes," said the first adviser.
"We shall simply have to get them," said the second.
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"Because the king wants them," said the third.
"How?" asked the fourth.
"Well we could, ah import them," said the first.
"Yes, import them," said the second.
"Import them, yes," said the third.
"From where?" asked the fourth.
"Well, uh we could get them from . . . Hmm.
"Yes, we could get them from Hmm," agreed the second.
"I was only hmming , not naming places," said the first.
"Oh, pardon me, I thought you meant the city of Hmm on the
Mm river. It is too far away, now that I think of it."
"Why don't we get a map and look?" asked the third.
"An excellent idea," said the second. "Get a map and look."
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