{1}{72}movie info: XVID 544x416 23.976fps 233.7 MB|/SubEdit b.4072 (http://subedit.com.pl)/ {2158}{2221}"I want to suck your blood. " {2242}{2275}That's not right. {2278}{2338}"I want to suck your blood. " {2340}{2412}No, that's not it. "I want to suck-" {2436}{2468}Hello, kiddies. {2470}{2535}You caught me|in the middle of my homework. {2537}{2627}Your old pal, the Crypt Keeper,|is a real believer in continuing... {2628}{2670}deaducation. {2726}{2802}Which brings us|to tonight's murderous morsel. {2804}{2881}It's a juicy little tale|about a real bloodsucker... {2883}{2943}who never learned to go for the jugular. {2954}{3012}I call this plasma play... {3021}{3079}The Reluctant Vampire. {4609}{4656}Oh, God. {4734}{4807}How I hate Mondays. {5221}{5287}Leopold? Come on, Leopold. {5301}{5331}Leopold? {5385}{5462}Now, while most of us make a point|ofnot looking for trouble... {5464}{5535}my next guest has made a career ofit. {5537}{5608}He has a job that's definitely not|for the squeamish. {5609}{5724}For the past 50 years, Rupert Van Helsing|has been hunting vampires. {5751}{5844}Hunting vampires?|Mr. Van Helsing, is that for real? {5846}{5907}Of course it's for real, Miss Jones. {5909}{5979}I assure you, vampires are quite real. {6001}{6062}And they really turn into bats|and fly around? {6064}{6182}No. That's just in the movies,|but they must drink blood to stay alive. {6184}{6245}And it must be human blood. {6247}{6285}It is for them an addiction. {6287}{6371}An addiction for which|they ha ve to kill nightly. {6380}{6479}I don't know about you, but I'm wearing|an extra scarf to bed tonight. {6514}{6550}Hilarious. {6568}{6624}Come on, Leopold. Come on. {6636}{6736}We've got to go to work.|Come on. Good boy. {7208}{7269}I don't want excuses. I want answers! {7271}{7316}Our blood supply is at a record low. {7318}{7364}We are tottering|on the brink of bankruptcy. {7366}{7443}And all you can say is, "There are|irregularities in the bookkeeping. " {7445}{7503}We've been meeting|all our donation quotas, Mr. Crosswhite. {7504}{7562}What's happening, Sally?|Is blood evaporating? {7564}{7637}I wanna know why there's not as much|blood available as we're taking in. {7639}{7677}I don't know why. {7679}{7713}You better find out why, sweetheart... {7715}{7763}or your little butt's gonna be out|on the sidewalk. {7764}{7825}Oh, no. Mr. Crosswhite, I need this job. {7827}{7872}Honey, you're dead weight|on a sinking ship. {7874}{7944}Please, Mr. Crosswhite,|I'll get to the bottom of it. {7956}{8023}It's interesting that you put it|that way, Sally... {8024}{8099}because I'd like to keep you on here. {8100}{8162}You see, I like you, Sally, a lot. {8187}{8268}And perhaps we could get|to the bottom of that? {8299}{8363}- Mr. Crosswhite-|- Leave her alone. {8412}{8437}Sir. {8499}{8535}Nice try, hero. {8541}{8591}But before you go|sticking your nose in anywhere... {8593}{8646}remember you're just a night watchman. {8648}{8735}- If you want to stay night watchman...|- Yes, sir. {8791}{8843}Think about what I said, sweetheart. {8854}{8937}It's an awfully cruel world out there|in the unemployment line. {8979}{9033}Maybe you both better think about it. {9432}{9455}Well, then. {9475}{9522}I'll be going now. {9532}{9580}Oh, yes. Goodbye, then. {9589}{9665}Don't worry.|I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. {9696}{9767}Thanks for standing up for me today,|Mr. Longtooth. {9807}{9866}- It was nothing.|- No, I mean it. {9868}{9923}It was a brave thing to do. {9940}{10011}- Nobody's ever called me that before.|- What? {10021}{10049}Brave. {10072}{10159}When my family used to go out hunting,|I used to stay in the house. {10192}{10238}I couldn't kill anyone. {10283}{10310}Anything. {10363}{10418}That doesn't mean you're a coward. {10436}{10488}You're sensitive, that's all. {10524}{10563}- I am?|- Yeah. {10618}{10668}And I think sensitive is... {10688}{10718}sexy. {10828}{10857}You do? {11131}{11191}Sally, I've got to go now... {11224}{11285}'cause I'm supposed to be|watching things. {11288}{11351}Would you like some company for a while? {11432}{11482}- Is everything all right?|- Yes. {11496}{11547}Just got a little toothache. {11583}{11611}Well. {11655}{11706}Guess I better let you go. {11772}{11821}Good night, Mr. Longtooth. {11879}{11912}Good night. {12597}{12644}Lovely. {12647}{12740}Over the lips, over the fangs,|say goodbye to hunger pangs! {12787}{12852}Yes, lovely. {12947}{12975}Oh, yes. {13009}{13077}Leopold, my dear friend, up you go. {13095}{13150}Yes. Oh, good. {13169}{13194}Yes. {13232}{13304}A little AB or a little type O {13336}{13416}Twist oflime and away we go {13428}{13454}Yes. {13607}{13644}Oh, nectar of the gods. {13676}{13727}Here's blood in your eye, Leopold. {14073}{14164}I think we'd better go|and alter that record book, don't you? {14521}{14596}Crosswhite, you goddamn son of a... {14598}{14635}He's taken it home with him. {14637}{14726}I should go around to his house|and rip his goddamn throat out. {14767}{14831}I've got to do something|to solve this problem... {14833}{14891}even if I hate myself in the morning. {14942}{14999}I wish you could wait|until the morning, Cuddles. {15000}{15085}I mean, it's not safe here.|I didn't mean to scare you. {15088}{15143}You are shaking all over the street, huh? {15241}{15302}You darling. You look just darling. {15304}{15390}Now if you could just piddle and get it|over with, and we'll go home. All right? {15392}{15427}I can't do it. {15460}{15537}I just can't do it. {15539}{15599}Okay, Granny, hand over your purse. {15600}{15632}I said, hand- {15640}{15709}A body isn't safe|to walk the streets anymore. {15809}{15865}- Who the hell are you?|- Hello. {15867}{15913}Have you ever had|any blood-borne diseases? {15915}{15939}No, man. {15940}{15997}Are you currently taking any drugs,|or any other medication? {15999}{16060}Have you had dental surgery|in the last 72 hours? {16062}{16089}- Have I what?|- Have you? {16091}{16178}- No! Oh, God, you're killing me.|- This is music to my ears. {16307}{16422}Come on, my little beauty.|This is good. This is very good. {17024}{17069}You win some, you lose some. {17151}{17195}Thanks for your business. {17865}{17931}Sally, hello. How are you? {18016}{18095}You're early.|It's not even light outside yet. {18156}{18208}I was worried about the blood. {18248}{18306}Well, that's nothing to worry about. {18312}{18382}I'm sure there's more than enough|for everyone. {18406}{18444}Mr. Longtooth... {18617}{18676}is there something wrong with me? {18756}{18788}What do you mean? {18811}{18873}Do you think I'm unattractive? {18891}{18933}No. {18952}{19033}No. Not at all. Quite the contrary... {19139}{19186}I think you're very beautiful. {19249}{19320}Then is there something wrong with you? {19394}{19433}What do you mean? {19463}{19503}Don't you know? {19856}{19896}Sally, I... {19949}{19986}I have to... {20019}{20066}I have to go. {20093}{20138}I'll see you tomorrow. {20324}{20357}This is a weird one all right. {20359}{20471}What kind of a sicko would drain all the|blood out of some nickel-and-dime bum? {20473}{20512}I've got nothing to go on here. {20514}{20577}I got no fingerprints.|I got no murder weapon. {20581}{20649}The only eyewitness|to the whole thing is some... {20657}{20714}little old lady who says|she kicked him in the balls. {20716}{20773}Perhaps I can help you. {20817}{20859}Who the hell are you? {20861}{20903}Rupert Van Helsing. {20933}{21011}- What do you want, Rupert?|- I want to help you, Lieutenant. {21023}{21094}Though, at first, you're not going|to believe anything I tell you. {21096}{21146}You're going to think I'm strange... {21159}{21189}bizarre. {21219}{21302}But in three to four days,|when the city is awash in blood... {21322}{21377}you're going to beg me for my help. {21386}{21468}Well, so far you're right on the money,|Rupert. You are strange... {21469}{21555}and I don't believe you,|but thank you anyway. {21572}{21640}- Goodbye.|- Any similarities? {21814}{21899}Wait a minute, now.|You're the guy on the radio, right? {21901}{21961}- The Dracula chaser?|- Lieutenant... {21964}{22033}I assure you,|I can prove everything I'm telling you. {22035}{22085}Well, how are you gonna do that, Rupert? {22087}{22180}Perhaps, if I might see the body. {22212}{22256}Just as I thought. {22260}{22319}A puncture mark|directly above the jugular. {22320}{22415}Yeah, but there's only one of them there,|Rupert. Shouldn't there be two? {22425}{22519}Perhaps one of his teeth is decayed. {22541}{22597}Of course. Why didn't I think of that? {22608}{22681}Now, let me ask you something else.|This guy was empty. {22683}{22719}Not a drop of blood in him. {22721}{22797}That's nine whole pints.|How do you explain that? {22816}{22920}- Do vampires usually drink that much?|- Perhaps, if they're quite large. {22956}{23060}So we're looking for a 300-pound refugee|from Castle Dracula... {23065}{23135}with bad teeth and a taste for muggers. {23145}{23173}Is that it? {23180}{23249}- That's what we're looking for, Lieutenant.|- Good. {23251}{23306}Okay, you let me know|when you find him, Sherlock. {23308}{23377}And meantime,|I'm due back in the 20th century. {23580}{23628}I'm afraid I have some bad news. {23630}{23713}Due to the problems we've been having|in maintaining our blood supply... {23715}{23765}I've decided to scale back. {23774}{23805}Now, what this means is... {23807}{23888}most of you will no longer be with us|at the end of the month. {23889}{23955}Sorry, I know how you all must feel... {23956}{24008}but for us to continue current operations... {24010}{24097}there would have to be|a stunning improvement in our business. {24122}{24193}I'm talking,|at least twice our current daily intake. {24195}{24270}Goodnight, everyone.|We'll see you all in the morning. {24344}{2...
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