ZZ Unintentionally Yours(Przypadkowo Twój).doc

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1. THE PROPOSAL

 

“You can’t be fucking serious about this”, screamed Harry furiously, dropping the paper he had been reading.

 

“I fear we are, Harry”, Dumbledore replied in an unusual grave voice, but the twinkle in his eyes still not missing, “This is the only opportunity we have. I think, the offer is quite reasonable.”

 

“This is not reasonable. How can you even consider this? It’s not like this is your decision to make”, said Harry, the last sentence in a deadly calm voice.

 

“That is why we asked you to discuss this with us, my dear boy, we...”, started Dumbledore again, but Harry interrupted him: “I’m not your ‘dear boy’. In fact I don’t want to discuss this with you. You interfered enough with my life as it is! So sod off.”

 

“Now, that’s probably a bit harsh, don’t you think so, Harry?”, intervened Cornelius Fudge, Minster of Magic since six years, “We all have your best interests at heart.”

 

Harry snorted: “Of course, you have, how could I ever forget? I mean when I told you Voldemort was back you were the first at my side, believing in me, supporting me. And where would we be now, if you hadn’t reacted so fast and determined? Yes, I see what you mean, you have my best interests at heart!”, he answered his voice full of irony and deliberately ignoring the flinch at the mention of Voldemort’s name.

 

The other occupants of the room exchanges looks clearly asking who should make the next move to convince the boy-who-lived, that this was the best for all of them. About the room, they were currently in the headmaster’s office and since Harry had lost his temper a few times it was covered in broken or exploded things. About the occupants, there was Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster himself looking old and absently stroking Fawkes, who had fled into his lap, Minster Fudge as mentioned before, who was at the moment fidgeting his lime green bowler between his sweaty hands, Professor Minerva McGonagall, Transfigurations teacher and Head of Gryffindor, who made a strict face and wore a matching scowl, Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master, Head of Slytherin and Death Eater (well, not really but you know the story), looking as though he would bit off every head crossing his glare, which was directed at Sirius Black, godfather of Harry, Animagus, convicted for murder of 13 people and the betrayal of Lily and James Potter, escaped from Azkaban after 12 years and not the least bit interested in Snape’s glaring or disappointed in Harry’s behaviour since in his opinion his godson had every right to be pissed, Lucius Malfoy, Death Eater, released from Azkaban for lack of evidence after only one night, presently working for the ministry, if you want to call it that, who looked as composed as ever and who was silently amused about the scene, which played in front of him, Rudolphus Lestrange, Death Eater and escapee from Azkaban, though he did a good job in recovering, seeming slightly impressed with Harry’s performance and two Aurors who were there for the Minister’s security but were at the moment tidying up the mess said performance left. And of course Harry Potter (or did you think he was standing outside the door?), boy-who-lived, second best student of Hogwarts after Hermione Granger, supposed to save the world over and over again.

 

Finally Dumbledore decided that it fell into his responsibility to calm the boy enough to have decent conversation and since Harry constantly declined his lemon drops, he asked: “And with whom do you want to talk about this contract?”

 

On first instinct Harry wanted to shout at the top of his lungs that he didn’t want to talk about it, because it was apparent that he wouldn’t accept it, anyway, and that they all should leave him alone and talk to the wall instead, but on second thought this seemed rather childish and so he pointed at Sirius and did his best not to blow up Dumbledore’s bookshelf.

 

“Now, Harry, don’t make fun of us, that’s not very nice. You can’t talk seriously to a dog!”, Fudge declared and gave Harry a disapproving look.

 

“Thanks a lot for your demonstration of confidence, Minister, I’ll make sure to remember that. Now, if you’ll excuse me I will talk to my dog, who by the way owns certainly more intelligence than you”, stated Harry, glaring daggers at the Minister, before walking swiftly out of the room without as much as a backward glance.

 

Said dog, also known as Sirius Black, appeared a bit taken aback by the last comment and it took him a few seconds, after which he realised that Harry had already left, and with a worried look around and snatching the contract from one of the Aurors who had just straightened it he left, too, while Dumbledore's bookshelves exploded, covering the floor with ancient looking tomes.

 

***

 

“Harry, are you okay?”, Sirius asked tentatively as he eventually found him in one of the unused classrooms near the library, crossing the room and sitting down next to his godson.

 

“Do I look as if?”, Harry made a noise somewhere between a sob and a snort, “Why does everything always have to happen to me?”

 

At a loss of words Sirius enveloped his now openly crying godson in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back: “Shh, it’s okay, we’ll work it out. Don’t let them bother you so much. We’ll work it out!”

 

“Why do they have to do this to me? Why can’t they just leave me alone?”, sobbed Harry into his shoulder shaking violently and clutching to Sirius tee-shirt as if his life depended on it.

 

The Animagus only tightened his embrace, since he couldn’t come up with anything to say that didn’t consist of curses.

 

After Harry had calmed down and Sirius’ leg was hurting like hell, he said: “Come on, Harry. Have you read all of it”, as Harry shook his head in the negative, he continued, “well, then, we’ll have to read it now. For we can’t have you freak out and demolish Dumbledore’s office only over the half, when we could have you freak out and demolish Dumbledore’s office over the whole thing!”

 

As the boy in his lap gave something near an amused laugh, he unfolded the offending paper and held it in front of both of them so that they could read together:

 

MARRIAGE CONTRACT

 

I, Tom Marvolo Riddle, better known as Lord Voldemort, hereby state my intention to marry Mr. Harold James Potter.

 

By accepting this contract I give my promise

 

1.) To end the war and all hostile actions against the Wizarding World and the Order of the Phoenix and hold peace

 

2.) To train and teach Mr. Potter to the best of my abilities, or should Mr. Potter want to study a subject, in which I cannot provide any help, find a appropriate teacher

 

3.) To provide a home as well as food, clothing and other supplies for Mr. Potter

 

4.) To allow Mr. Potter to visit his friends and family every first weekend every month, unless said weekend would coincide with a holiday

 

5.) To not hurt Mr. Potter willingly or deliberately

 

By accepting this contract I expect

 

1.) The Wizarding World and the Order of the Phoenix to end the war and all hostile actions against my person and the organisation called Death Eaters, to refrain from prosecution and to hold peace as well

 

2.) Mr. Potter to have at least once a week sexual intercourse with me and to refrain from any sexual intercourse with other persons

 

3.) Mr. Potter to be present when I require his company and not to be separated from me for more than two weeks

 

4.) Mr. Potter to not jinx, hex, curse or hurt any member of the Death Eaters or me

 

If any of these conditions is to be broken by either party this contract is to be considered invalid.

 

“That’s it: My happiness against peace for the whole Wizarding World!”, Harry sighed as soon as they had finished reading.

 

“So it looks”, admitted Sirius, wrapping his arms tighter around the small body in his lap, "But maybe you can be happy, too”, Sirius tried to convince his godson as well as himself.

 

Judging by Harry’s unbelieving expression, he wasn’t very successful: “You don’t really believe that, do you? How could I ever be happy with the monster who killed my parents? And so many others, just for fun, for entertainment,...”

 

“This contract would stop his mindless killing”, the Animagus interjected gently.

 

Harry gave a tired nod before sighing again: “That’s the good thing about this whole thing.”

 

“And what is the bad thing?”, asked Sirius, silently fearing that Harry might loose his temper, if he spoke too loud.

 

“I can hardly see my friends, I can’t curse the Death Eaters and... I have to sleep with that bastard”, Harry confirmed with a slight blush.

 

Kissing the unruly black hair, he said: “Well, I think we could negotiate about the first two points, but I’m afraid there’s no way to get around the last one. Sorry, Harry.”

 

“Not your fault”, mumbled Harry, before straightening up, “But there’ll be no more deaths and I won’t have to kill him, so that’s good, right? And I’ll survive the other... stuff, as I always do. I think that’s worth the peace, isn’t it?”

 

“I would rather live in war than have you go to that monster, but that’s only my opinion and I never was very sensible, come to think of it”, growled Sirius and Harry erupted in sudden laughter because Sirius sounded so much like his Animagus form.

 

Kissing his godfather’s cheek and murmuring a soft “Thanks!” he got up: “I’ll go fetch someone for the negotiations. Who would you suggest?”

 

“Lucius Malfoy, since we need someone to discuss our demands with and since he is from an old Wizarding family he will most likely know the laws and regulations. And Severus Snape, though I can’t stand the greasy git, but he’s damn good with formalities and we need someone to represent the Wizarding World”, answered Sirius with a bit of hesitation and after an approving nod, Harry vanished through one of his secret passageways.

 

Harry walked slowly through the castle, he had called home since almost five years, bit by bit digesting the information he had just got. The war had been going on since almost two months now and neither party had succeeded in achieving more than little victories once in a while. St. Mungo’s was crowded with injured and cursed people and their families and friends wanting to know if they would be alright. Deep in his heart, Harry knew that what he was going to accept was a good thing for he could save them all the war and the pain it would bring, but why was it always him? Why did they expect a not yet sixteen year old boy to solve their problems and save their world? And what the bloody hell did Voldemort think he was doing? While he had been thinking and cursing under his breath he had reached the gargoyle, which guarded Dumbledore’s rooms and with a silent “Milky Way” he was on his way up to the office. As soon as he reached the staircase which would carry him upstairs he heard angry shouting and what sounded suspiciously like a fist hitting a table.

 

“You can’t seriously consider letting that boy decide whether to accept or not. He’s obviously not right in the mind, speaking to a dog, for Merlin’s sake. And you want that child to decide over the welfare of the whole Wizarding World. I say, we accept the peace offer right away, what good will it do to burden a child with the decision?”, Fudge argued heatedly.

 

“You seem to forget, Minister, that it is that child, who will have to fulfil the conditions of the contract. And that if that child decides to just don’t fulfil them, the contract will be seen as null and void. And that that child is standing in the doorway hearing every word you say and could easily transfigure you into a dog so that you would see that some animals understand what humans say- not that there's much of a change you would rank among them”, Harry remarked with cold anger, “Mr. Malfoy and Professor Snape, would you be so kind as to accompany me to Snuffles so that we can negotiate our demands?”

 

“But we can’t have Death Eaters strolling around our school, it was...”, spluttered Fudge.

 

“May I remind you that one year ago you assured me Mr. Malfoy is no threat to the society and an honoured man?”, commented Harry staring into the Minister’s eyes, “However I can assure you now that he will be no threat while he is here, am I correct Mr. Malfoy?”

“Yes, Mr. Potter, I think you are”, Lucius Malfoy replied smoothly, stepping to the door and opening it for Snape and Harry to walk through.

 

Snape, offering a last glare to Fudge who had been on the receiving end of his glares since Sirius had left, walked outside closely followed by Harry.

 

“So may I ask which conditions you want to have changed”, inquired Lucius Malfoy, stepping beside Harry as soon as they had passed the gargoyle.

 

“Most of them, but that won’t help me much, will it?”, Harry retorted, “You’ll see which ones will be changed as soon as we’re there.”

 

“And where is ‘there’?”, Snape snapped irritated.

 

“Near the library, one of the empty classrooms”, Harry replied evenly, greeting one of the portraits as they passed.

 

“And why didn’t you settle in one of the nearer ones?”, he asked reproachfully scowling at the Fat Lady who dared looking his way.

 

“It’s not far away if you use the short cuts”, Harry stated, while leading them down one of the moving staircases.

 

Snape scowled even more: “And why don’t we use the short cuts?”

 

Sending him a teasing smile Harry replied: “Well, because you are a teacher, Sir. We can’t have you know all the secret passageways, now can we? Where would your poor students hide? By the way, we’re there so you can stop giving me that look, Sir, it won’t work anyway.”

Sirius sat cross-legged on the floor as they entered, scribbling things on the contract and smiled reassuringly at Harry: “Hey, come here, I wrote a few things down for you, and I made copies of the contract”, he explained softly, while Harry made himself comfortable.

 

“Can I burn one?”, he asked hopefully gesturing to the other two men to sit down, which they did with matching scowls and as much dignity as you can sitting on the bare floor.

 

His godfather chuckled and handed out the copies.

“So, may we know which changes you want to be made?”, Malfoy asked once again all business-like.

 

“Well, first I want that the peace offer is valid for both the Wizarding and the Muggle World”, Harry began trying to decipher one of Sirius’ scribbles.

 

“What would we want with the Muggle World anyway?”, Malfoy commented, but made the correction.

 

“Secondly I want to continue my education here in Hogwarts. If he wants to give my extra lessons, I’m okay with that”, Harry explained quietly.

 

Malfoy made a humming noise, taking notes on what Harry had said, without giving any indicating if this was going to be alright.

 

“You can scratch the third one. I won’t need him to buy my stuff. I have enough money of my own”, ordered Harry, doing as he had said.

 

The Death Eater snorted: “You mean to tell me, that you could buy decent clothing but prefer to walk around in these rags?”

 

“If I had bought new clothes my relatives, would have taken them away”, replied Harry, “And you may not think along the same lines, but some of this stuff is really comfy!”

 

Malfoy exchanged a confused look with Snape, who seemed to think about the explanation.

 

“Then I request more visiting time with my friends: Every second weekend plus the vacations. And they’ll get the opportunity to see me whenever they like, as long as they swear not to disrespect any of you”, Harry continued, ignoring the reactions.

 

“I’ll have to discuss that with the Dark Lord, it seems a bit much”, stated Malfoy.

 

“You do that, Sir”, agreed Harry, “Then I want to clarify that none of you Death Eaters will hurt me, either, and that Voldemort will order no-one to hurt me in any way.”

 

At this one Malfoy looked up sharply: “Why should he order us to hurt you? You are to be his husband, he will protect you!”

 

Harry seemed stunned a few seconds before he answered: “Fine, then make it clear.”

 

He unconsciously snuggled closer to Sirius, looking lost and small between the grown-up men.

 

Sirius laid one arm protectively around his shoulder and proceeded: “For the expectations: We don’t like that point with the company. Harry is not a rare animal, you can take from its cage and show around whenever you feel like it. I would suggest that Harry can decide not to come when he has a reason not to or gets the right to veto Voldemort's request.”

 

“I will have to check that with the Dark Lord, too, anything else?”, said Malfoy, trying to stay patient and polite.

 

“Actually yes, we think the condition with not hexing you lot has to be revised”, Sirius answered smugly.

 

“And why, may I ask, is that so?”, questioned the Death Eater, exchanging an irritated look with the Potion's Master.

 

“Well, Harry is a wizard and every wizard should be able to use magic”, smiled Sirius, “And as he is James’ son and practically one of the Marauders, he has to be able to pull pranks!”

 

“I fail to see your logic, but I will discuss that as well. Was that the last point?”, inquired Malfoy.

 

“No”, Harry said, straightening up, “I have one last demand: I want Peter Pettigrew transferred to the Ministry with a full confession on his lips!”

 

“I’ll see to it”, promised Malfoy with a smile tugging his lips, “I can’t stand that rat!”

 

Harry gave him a genuine smile.

 

“That should be all then, unless Snape wants to add something”, declared Sirius sorting through his papers.

“I think it should be agreeable and since the Minister wanted to accept it in the first place I think we’re done here”, answered Snape.

 

“I think, the documents will be ready in about two days unless we can’t agree on one point”, Malfoy confirmed, standing up and brushing his robes, “Mr. Potter, we’ll see you soon!”, he said, taking Harry’s hand in his own and kissing the back of it.

 

Harry blushed a little, but nodded in acknowledgement, before fleeing again into Sirius’ arms.

 

“What do you think shall we call it a night?”, Sirius asked gently, “Do you want to sleep in my rooms tonight?”

 

“Carry me?”, begged Harry and he looked once again so fragile and lost that Sirius couldn’t resist, even if he had wanted to.

 

“Sure thing, Honey”, he took him into his arms sent Snape a glare, which was returned, and carried him to his rooms, where he lived together with Remus Lupin, while Harry fell asleep.

 

***

2. NEGOTIATIONS

 

Sirius watched his godson sleeping on his sofa. He was concerned about him. It was not only the contract and the turn which would be following suite. He had looked pale, when Remus and he had fetched him from his Muggle relatives, who had been acting odd and rude towards them, but that was perhaps because they were Muggles. Then there was the fact that he had flinched violently, when Remus had touched his back for the first time this afternoon and that he was even thinner than before.

 

“What are you thinking about, Paddy?”, asked the quiet voice of his lover and best friend Remus Lupin, who had snaked his arms around his torso from behind, “You looked worried.”

 

Sirius sighed: „That’s probably because I am worried. Do you know what this was all about?”

 

“Minerva told me during your talk with Malfoy and Severus”, he looked over to the still form on the sofa, “They truly expect a lot from him and he’s barely sixteen.”

 

“I hate it that he has no other choice”, Sirius growled, trying to murder the night sky with his eyes.

 

“He could always refuse”, the werewolf interjected softly and kissed Sirius’ nose to get his attention back.

 

Sirius snorted: “You know, he would never let them fight on, if he has a chance to stop them without killing anyone. Sacrifice himself for the greater good! That’s it- he has no choice!”

 

Remus looked thoughtful and guided Sirius to their kitchen so that they wouldn’t wake up the topic of their conversation.

 

“Can we help him?”, Sirius asked, sending the werewolf a pleading look, “Can we do something to make it at least easier for him?”

 

“We can be there for him!”, Remus said without hesitation, “We can be there if he needs our help! Except that? I fear there’s nothing we can do, Paddy. Let’s grab a bit of sleep, okay?”

 

Sirius nodded, took the last sip of his tea and followed Remus to their bedroom, giving Harry a goodnight kiss on the way.

 

***

 

While Hogwarts and its few occupants surrendered to sleep, Lucius Malfoy and Rudolphus Lestrange were on their way to the Dark Lord, who at the moment waited impatiently for his servants’ return.

 

The room was shadowed as they entered, only illuminated by the dying fire in the hearth and a magical torch near the door. The dark furniture and wall colour didn’t help the feeling of darkness. Near the fire laid a snake and in one of the corners stood a house-elf almost unnoticed, patiently waiting for its Master to retire so that it would be able to clean the room.

 

Lucius Malfoy graciously approached the armchair, in which Lord Voldemort currently resided, and while Lestrange bowed silently, he greeted: “Mylord, we have returned with news from Hogwarts and your soon-to-be-husband.”

 

“So I guess, they accept my offer?”, the most powerful Dark wizard inquired in a darkly amused voice.

 

Malfoy allowed himself a contemptuous little smile, before replying: “Fudge wanted to accept right away, but Potter suggested a few changes.”

 

“Well, how did Potter react?”, asked the Dark Lord, hiding the eagerness in his voice.

 

“First he didn’t believe it, then he started screaming and destroying the headmaster’s office with accidental magic, then he talked to his godfather and insulted Fudge”, Lestrange answered, using a monotone voice.

 

“He insulted the Minister?” Voldemort interrogated, “Why ever did he do that?”

 

Lucius started to tell the whole story with occasional help from the other Death Eater and went then over to report about the negotiations handing over the corrected contract.

 

“Not very modest, now is he?”, said Voldemort, after having finished his reading, “I can’t see me accept these conditions as they are.”

 

“I think it was mostly Black’s doing, he didn’t seem to be interested in it too much. He only wanted to have Pettigrew transferred to the Ministry!”, Malfoy responded.

 

“Well, then we should arrange a meeting so that we can negotiate further”, Voldemort suggested, thoug...

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