Lecture 6 Style I.pdf

Physics 596

STYLE

Dr. Herbst

Some elements of style are: level of difficulty, order, movement.

Movement

Defn. Movement carries the reader from one idea to the next and makes it more likely that the

reader will finish the article.

Movement can be helped by words that give a sense of time such as “while, next, suddently, first,

later, after.”

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Contrast: Schroedinger discovered quantum mechanics. He also solved the hydrogen atom.

With

After discovering wave mechanics, Schroedinger was able to solve the problem of the hydrogen

atom.

Schroedinger first discovered wave mechanics, and subsequently solved the problem of the

hydrogen atom.

Movement can also be helped by word such as “however, therefore, thus, consequently,

moreover,” and phrases such as “as a result,” which show a logical progression. But make sure

that they are correctly used.

Incorrect: Schroedinger discovered wave mechanics; however , he also solved the problem of

the hydrogen atom.

However = in spite of

A better word here might be moreover , which is defined as “beyond what has been said,” and is

used to strengthen a point.

What about the following:

Schroedinger’s discovery of wave mechanics led, thus, to his solution of the hydrogen-atom

problem.

Ans. Use of “thus” is unnecessary unless referring back to some point in a previous sentence

such as: To solve problems in atomic physics, it was necessary to develop a new field called

wave mechanics.

Proper use of however: Heisenberg formulated a system of quantum mechanics involving

matrices; however, this formulation did not prove helpful for many problems.

Synonyms: nevertheless, nonetheless, yet, but

Movement can be shattered with parenthetical expressions!

Example: The data were taken with a mass spectrometer (a mass spectrometer is an instrument

that measures the mass of individual atoms) operating at a pressure of 10 -4 torr (the range of the

instrument is 10 -7 – 10 -2 torr).

Two fixes:

a) A mass spectrometer is an instrument that measusres the mass of individual atoms. Such

an instrument was used to record the data. The data were taken at a pressure of 10 -4 torr,

well within the 10 -7 – 10 -2 torr operating range of the instrument. (short sentences)

b) A mass spectrometer, an instrument that measures the mass of individual atoms, was used

to record data while operating at a pressure of 10 -4 torr, well within the 10 -7 – 10 -2 torr

operating range of the instrument. (apposition)

Movement is affected by the length of sentences. Short sentences speed up the action, but can

lead to choppiness.

Examples of short sentences:

Mission Control broadcast the countdown. The spectators held their breath: 5,4,3,2,1,…. The

engines fired. The rocket disappeared behind a cloud of smoke. (sense of excitement)

Schroedinger discovered wave mechanics in 1926. Heisenberg discovered matrix mechanics in

1925. The two are equivalent. Dirac proved this in 1927. (choppy)

Examples of longer sentences:

In 1927, Dirac showed that the wave mechanics of Schroedinger, first published in 1926, and the

matrix mechanics of Heisenberg, first published in 1925, are equivalent. (active)

The wave mechanics of Schroedinger, published first in 1926, and the matrix mechanics of

Heisenberg, published first in 1925, were shown to be equivalent by Dirac in 1927. (passive)

Other stylistic concerns

Active vs Passive Voice: I have no strong opinion, and think it is best to mix styles.

Parallel Construction:

Bad We went to the circus and are seeing the elephants perform.

Good We went to the circus and saw the elephants perform.

We went to the circus to see the elephants perform.

Importance of end of sentence: Saving the best for last often adds a zing.

Weak

The air-traffic system may grind to a halt if new security measures are not put in

place.

Stronger

If new security measures are not put in place, the air-traffic system may grind

to a halt.

Jargon:

Avoid word and abbreviations not known to your readers. Explain terms not

Bad

The IAM was used to make a matrix of the effective Hamiltonian operator.

Long words: Multi-syllabic words often have simpler synonyms. Use the simpler words

unless they have been multiply repeated:

optimal  best

elucidate  explain, clarify

attempt  try

fabricate  make, produce

implement  use

Conditional language: Conditional language is used when we don’t wish to overstate the

case. But don’t be wishy-washy if you are certain!

Examples: implies that, the data suggest, presumably, only under the following

circumstances, in most instances, in these specific cases…..

Omit needless words:

The question as to whether  whether

There is no doubt but that  no doubt, doubtless

Personally, I thought  I thought

Used for fuel purposes  used for fuel

He is a man who  he

Each and every  every

In a hasty manner  hastily

This is a subject that  this subject

Her story is a strange one  her story is strange

The reason why is that  because

The fact that I arrived  my arrival

His cousin, who is a member of the same firm  A member of the same firm, his

cousin……

known to them.

utilize  use

commence  start

Avoid using nouns as verbs:

She headquarters in New York  She has headquarters in New York.

Use “respectively” sparingly:

The mile run and the two-mile run were won by Jones and Cummings,

respectively.

Better

The mile run was won by Jones, the two-mile run by Cummings.

That vs which: That restricts meaning and is used without a comma. Which is

non-restrictive and is set off by a comma or commas.

Example: The lawn mower that is broken is in the garage. This sentence implies that

there is more than one lawn mower.

The lawn mower, which is broken, is in the garage . This sentence implies

that there is only one lawn mower.

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