Cultivating Youth Subsistence.pdf

Storyid: 4533780

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Name: Cultivating Youth Subsistence

Author: Rosette-Cullen

Chapter 1 to 22

Chapter: 1

Cultivating Youth Subsistence

I sat at home once again, my cell phone in my hand, awaiting a call I knew wouldn't come. I

couldn't force myself to act normal now; it wasn't even worth a try. My father wouldn't notice, but

my mother certainly would. My mother picked up my every emotion, whether I wanted it or not. It's

not that I didn't appreciate the heart-to-hearts, but after a while they became repetitive and boring.

I sat in my small room on the burgundy and black loveseat that we had salvaged from a junkyard

not long ago. The cushions sometimes pushed the smell of rotten garbage out, but it was nothing

that Febreze couldn't handle. I pushed my pathetic form the nauseating couch and looked out the

window again, just hoping that he would pop through unannounced like he always did.

The one time he had been caught was not good. My father nearly choked on rage when he found us

sleeping in the same bed, with heavy jackets and flannels on. My mother was used to it by now. I

could tell she knew he came in the middle of the night. We really couldn't be away from each other

for that long, and I think we both found it was easier to sleep with the other's presence.

My stomach rolled at the thought of him being in bed with another girl. I knew he wouldn't stay,

that wasn't like him. It hurt, though, to think that he would be giving himself, no matter how feral

the act was, to someone else. His reputation didn't appease the people of Fork's, but no one did

anything to stop it. All the girls were attracted to him because of his 'mysterious' valor. Anyone who

knew him for more than a day, or took the time to really talk with him would know that he was just

a teenage boy.

The picture on my desk was glaring at me, and I hated that I was so dependent on him. I hated that I

couldn't be by his side all the time like we used to be. We never separated, and I could remember

clearly the time we had taken my father's, Charlie, handcuffs from his belt. He swallowed the key

and said that we'd be together for the rest of our live. Well, that didn't work out in accordance.

Eventually my parents took us to the infirmary and had his father monitor his stool for the key. And

because I was attached, I got to witness the sight of my best friend taking a dump.

Ever since middle school he seemed to pull himself more than I did. I thought our friendship was

becoming kaput, but in seventh grade, after I cried all night about him going to high school and me

having to spend a year alone, he did the most heart-felt thing I'd ever seen him do. Tears quickly

formed in my eyes as I remembered the day so clearly. He's snuck in and found me sniffling, and

after a thorough interrogation, I relayed everything to him.

He was pensive for a couple days; he was usually like that when he was having an internal battle. I

didn't push him to speak, because it was an unspoken agreement that we each shared a mind and

that the other couldn't keep a secret, it was impossible. His grades steadily declined, and his parent

became angrier at him. Even through the punishments, at the end of the year he had failed Social

Studies and Science.

On seventh grade graduation day, he showed me the diploma for failing his grade with a huge grin.

When I asked him why he was so happy about it, he laughed and responded like I was the most

inept person in the world. "Because, now we get to spend another year together!" I didn't remember

the rest of graduation, because I skipped it to go off with him.

And somewhere along those lines he became more mature and more social. Well, social wouldn't be

the correct term, but he was always with someone, whether it was me, or some girl. I knew I

couldn't keep Edward for my own, but as best friends we had our own bond. It was like a family tie,

that we understood each other better than anyone else.

With a sigh, I closed the window and crawled back into bed, leaving it unlocked just in case. I had a

feeling he wouldn't be coming tonight, and though it unsettled me, I wouldn't hold it against him.

Our lives were becoming more and more distant each day. I pushed everything away and shut my

eyes, tuning the world out and breathing quickly so I could only hear my short breaths. I'd force

myself to sleep tonight. When I got lightheaded, I stopped and my body went limp. I knew it wasn't

healthy, but I hadn't done it in a while. I had to face school tomorrow, and whatever Edward had

done tonight would most likely fall on my shoulders.

"'Morning, princess!" an over friendly voice called from my driveway. I pushed my bag over my

shoulder and walked towards the Volvo parked next to my red Chevy truck. The Volvo had become

more beat up throughout the years he had it, even before he had gotten his license.

I slid into the passenger side and grunted while taking a bite of the apple I had for breakfast.

Edward didn't start the car, but he looked at me. My eyes went to those vibrant emerald orbs stuck

in his head and raised my eyebrows. "What?"

"No 'good morning sunshine!' or witty remark?" he looked amazed by the fact that I wasn't speaking

with him.

"I'm tired," I sighed. He must have seen the circles under my eyes because he didn't press the issue

further. With a twist of his keys the Volvo's engine started and he began to race through the streets

of Fork's.

"Did you do the biology?" he asked.

"Yep, what about you? You've been putting it off 'til tomorrow for days." He grinned at me and the

reached across me to the glove compartment to take out a thick stack of papers. "No way,"

"Yes way, I worked all night on it, and it's triple A plus material, Belly Bella." I grimaced and

snatched away the papers from his hands. A part of me was relieved; my worrying had been for

nothing. He wasn't with anyone; he was just working on his homework. I flipped through the pages

and found that he really had worked on it.

"How late did you stay up?" I asked when I started to read through it.

"I didn't go to sleep. I know I'll crash in a couple hours, but I've been drinking straight black coffee

since dawn." He seemed a bit jittery, and I didn't doubt the affects of the caffeine on him. I, on the

other hand, was not one to mess with the powers of coffee unless it was necessary.

"I could have helped you, I've already had mine done since last week." I scolded him. He had a

math test last period.

"There would be no way either of us would have done anything. We'd end up playing Duck Hunt

again, which I always kick your ass at. And 'sides, I got it done on my own." That's right; he's not as

dependent anymore.

I tried to humour his conversation, but the sinking in my stomach was unnerving and unwelcome.

When he asked, I just said I had a stomach ache, and of course he knew I was lying, but he gave me

the space I needed. It was the simplicity of our friendship that made everything so much better than

everyone else's. We didn't have to voice our feelings; we could sense what the other was feeling.

We pulled into the high school, and he parked in his regular spot, next to an older, but still sleek

BMW. I rolled my eyes as I saw Rosalie still inside applying lip-gloss to her over done lips. Edward

looked at me and grinned before we both leaned in to press the horn on his car. Rosalie jumped and

we saw the coloured gloss stain across her cheek. We were both laughing by the time she glared at

us and ran back inside the building. We were falling over each other by the time the light drizzle

that had been picking up through the morning turned into rain.

With a huff I pulled myself up and out of the car and turned on my heel. The sky was black and

there was thunder in the distance, some schools would shut down, but not Fork's high. The staff had

invested in a generator that had kept the droll classes going until the power was sustained. Edward

was beside me in an instant while we pulled the hoods up on our coats – better said his coats.

"See 'ya third period," he called as he began to walk towards building five. I made my way to the

third and the horrid Spanish class that awaited me.

My sopping jacket hung with the other relatively dry ones, and I chuckled as I noticed one pink one

in particular under mine. I saw Alice in the back and immediately made my way to her. Alice

Brandon had been one of the few people who I had actually befriended in high school. She went the

right way by hanging out with both Edward and I, and her personality instantly won us over.

"Morning, Bella!" she sang. I walked over carefully, trying not to let another 'accident' happen. The

class was loud and uncontrollable by the time the teacher walked in, screaming something in

Spanish that I roughly translated to 'sit down and shut up'.

I hated this class just as any in my schedule. I needed the credit and I was great at the language, but

the class was something I never looked forward to. The class male population seemed to stop in

their tracks when a curvaceous blonde entered the room and Alice snickered behind her hand.

Rosalie glared at me and took a set beside me in the back.

"What the hell was that this morning?" she growled. I tried to hide my smile, but I grinned at her.

"I just wanted to see if you could start a new trend is all." Rosalie wiped absently-mindedly at her

right cheek before she pinched my arm and I squeaked. The attention in the room was turned to me

and I blushed scarlet before shuffling my foot at Rosalie's flip-flop clad shoe.

"Whatever, we both know I could start a trend wearing a potato sack."

"I'd do the tailoring," Alice interjected with her usual enthusiasm. I'd never caught onto their fashion

racked obsession, I thought it was tedious and a waste of time. I liked to be pretty – what girl didn't?

– but I found it a waste of time to get dolled up when I had no one to look at me.

The class started and I stared out the window closest to me. Alice used to be bothered with me

staring right over her head, but I did it so often she barely registered it anymore. The rain was

coming down hard, and the thunder and lightning in the distance seemed to reflect my mood. I

wasn't sure why I felt so nauseated, I was relieved, though. I didn't like it when I didn't know what

was wrong with me; it seemed to happen a lot, too. I would become depressed or irritated, nothing

irrational like a temper-tantrum, just being quiet.

The bell rang and I jumped from my seat ready to move on to American Lit. Alice and Rosalie

waited behind me, talking about some party that was going on this weekend. Knowing them, it

would be just another excuse to make me look like a proper lady in front of my fellow peers. I

sighed at the thought of being in Alice's bathroom while she yelled at me to hold still for hours. That

was my mistake completely, because as soon as I took my mind from where I was going, I felt

something underneath my foot and I fell onto the floor.

"Careful where you're going, swan." I closed my eyes tightly, willing the shrill voice and the nasally

voice to leave me alone or be gone for good. I opened my eyes again and saw the perfectly

manicured toenails in front of me and knew the Genie didn't hear my desire.

Two sets of arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me up. Alice and Rosalie stood by my

side and put their hands on their hips when I was up on my own. Lauren flipped her blonde hair that

was a little shorter than Rosalie's over her shoulder and snickered.

"I was just going to ask you Edward's cell number, he left my house before I could get him." She

smirked and I tried to brush it off.

"At least he didn't blow you off in your face." I said with nonchalance. Though I hated it, Edward

was good at getting out of tight situations. She cocked her head to the side, obviously not getting it.

"Oh, believe me Bella; he'll definitely want to see my face again." Jessica giggle beside Lauren and

glared at me again.

This was the difficult thing, I wasn't sure if they would act the same towards me if I wasn't friends

with Edward. I was usually the target for his antics, whenever someone had something against him,

they would go for me. They acted like I was his Achilles heel, but I never complained. Truth be

told, I'd do anything for Edward.

"I think it got flushed down the toilet." I muttered before stepping around them and out of the class

room. I was honestly in no mood for English, the one class I enjoyed more than any other. I was the

last one to arrive in class, and I received a complementary scowl from Mr. Mason before he began

the lecture on Shakespearian culture. We'd been working on this topic for weeks, and I'd begun to

think it was the only thing he was trained in.

I enjoyed the books, they had substance, and I didn't mind that they weren't all like todays gooey

drabble. I was most looking forward to the Poe section; I'd like to see him explain to the class that

most of his famous poems were the effect of drugs, mainly heroin. I laughed quietly to myself; at

least most of the kids here could relate, with the drugs bit, not anything remotely intelligent beside

the emotionally-overplayed sadistic and masochistic 'poetry' of today.

I had my inner monologue discussing the idealistic differences between Shakespeare, Poe, and

Faulkner all through the Hamlet discussion. I'd heard enough about it from a crock who pronounced

Macbeth wrong.

I met with Edward outside of my class room and he grinned at me while we made our way to

American History. He had a stupid grin on his face the entire trip to the class room, and by the time

we sat down I thought his face was going to crack in half.

"Okay, what's up with you?" I asked while he had a sly look break over his face.

"Can you catch a ride home with Alice?" I pursed my lips and he continued, not letting me answer

him. "I'm going somewhere after school with Emmett."

"What are you doing?" I asked in a hard voice, I knew him too well to think he was just going to

hangout.

"You'll see in good time." I didn't have time to reply before Mr. Barnes walked in and started

handing out tests and quizzes. I'd find out in good time.

"Rose, I think there's something on your cheek." Edward stated in a deadly serious voice. I broke

out laughing while Alice, Jasper and Emmett looked confused, and Rosalie glared at me.

"I don't know, I think Bella's always got something on her cheeks. Especially when Edward

whispers in her ear." I stopped dead and looked at Rosalie in disgust, though Edward leaned in and

blew his hot breath across my neck.

"Does she mean like this?" he breathed. I shuddered and felt a blush come into place while

everyone laughed at my expense.

"I'll get you back, Rosalie Hale." I muttered. She continued to laugh harder while I poked at the

pasta on my plate until it died down.

"Okay, okay, enough blushing Bella." Emmett intervened. "Mike Newton's party is next weekend,

and even though the guy's a little toad, we have to go."

"Why?" Jasper asked the question that was hanging silent in the air.

"His parents are out of town, his older brother just turned twenty one, and he's doing invitation

only." Emmett looked peeved as he listed off the last one.

"Okay, you always get invited to parties, though." I stated the obvious while Rosalie giggled behind

her hair.

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