PB_pt3.pdf

A Man’s Guide

part 3

Difference

Between

Men

and

Women

Female Mind

The

The Difference Between Men & Women

Vin:

Allright,thissectionisaboutthedifferencebetween

womenandmen.Andtoreallyanswerthisquestion,I’m

goingtointroduceBrianBurke,whoisnotonlyagood

friend,andtrainer,butreallythesecretweaponbehindall

thisresearch.Pandora’sBoxisawayofunderstandingthe

femalemindandtherereallyisn’tanotherprojectlikeit.

Obviouslythereisadifferencebetweenhowmenthinkand

howwomenthink,andtobeginwith,we’regoingtotalk

aboutthesedifferencesandexplorethem,andalsoexplore

howitaffectsourapproachindealingwithwomen.

Tostartout,whatI’mgoingtodoisintroducesome

commonmisconceptions,justtogeteveryoneonthesame

pagehere.AllrightBrian,soifyouwentuptoaguyonthe

streetandyouaskedhim;what’sthedifferencebetween

howwomenthinkandhowmenthink,mostguyswould

justsaywomenaremoreemotional;menarelogical.Is

thatthebasicdifference?Andwhatdoyousaytoaguy

likethat?

Brian:

Yes,sometimesthatisexactlywhatguysthink,womenare

moreemotionalandlessrational.Injusthavingregular

conversationswithmyfriendswhenI’mlikeofftheclock,

notnecessarilyworking,andwejusttalkaboutwomen

andstuff,there’saverycommonperceptionofwomenas

justbeingallovertheplace,you’dcallit“willy-nilly”,much

ofthestufftheydodoesn’tmakeanysense;andthat’s

absolutelywrong.Womenareextremelylogical.Duringthe

thinkingprocesswomenfollowpatternsandthey’rejustas

rationalasmenare.But,they’redifferentonabiological

level.They’redifferentonaphysicallevel.Theyplaya

differentroleinthematingprocess,andinthepeerbonding

relationshipandthisdifferentrolehasforcedthemto

evolveatdifferentsurvivalstrategy.Andthisisgoingallthe

waybacktobeforewewerehomosapiens,andit’sprimarily,

thesourceofit,isthatwe’resexuallydimorphic;meaning

thewomen,theirbodies,areverydifferentthanmen.

Vin:

Right.

Brian:

Obviouslywomenhavekidsandtheyaretheonesthat

bearachildandallthatstuff.They’realsophysicallynotas

strongasmen;they’resmaller.There’sjustawholelistof

physicaldifferencesthathaveforcedthemtohavedifferent

psychologicalstrategiesforsurviving,formating,forfinding

thebestmate.Andit’sextremelylogical;it’sjustaslogical

asaman.Soit’simportanttonotgetstuckthinkingthat

womenjustdon’tmakesense.That’skindofacopoutand

it’snotusefulandit’snotrealistic.

Vin:

Right.Iagree,ofcourse.Itislogical.Menandwomen

bothhavelogic;it’severythingwedo.ButIthinkit’soften

unclear,orhidden,whatthelogicis;it’softenfarbelowour

consciousawareness.Butthereissomekindoflogicalways

runningtohelpussurviveandperpetuatetherace.

Brian:

Right,andifyouthinkaboutit,wewouldn’tbeatthetopof

thefoodchain,wewouldn’tevenbealive,ourracewouldn’t

havesurvivedaslongasitdid,wewouldn’tevenstillbe

hereifthethingswediddidn’tmakeanysense.

Vin:

Right.

Brian:

Nature,evolutionandwhateveryouwanttocallithasbeen

shapingusforalong,longtime.Anditissubconscious,it’s

instinctual,butwhenyoutakeacloserlooklikewedidfor

thisproject,youstarttoseesomereallyinterestingthings

comingtothesurface.

Vin:

Right.So,wedohavesomekindofdifferentsurvival

strategy.Imeanobviouslystayalive,reproduce,eat,and

notfreezetodeath,butonamorecomplexlevel,Iguess

moresophisticatedlevel,wehaveadifferentsurvival

strategy.Whatdoesitmeanexactlyandwhatisthemost

strikingdifferencebetweenthemen’ssurvivalstrategy

andawoman’ssurvivalstrategyfromanemotionalpoint

ofview?

Brian:

Well,whenwetalkaboutsurvival,we’retalkingaboutnot

justsurvivaloftheindividual,butsurvivaloftheoffspring,

thegeneticsurvival;makingsurethatthechildrenshehas

survive.It’sagenegame;we’retalkingaboutgenesbeing

passeddown.Andinasenseyoucanevenseehumans

likevesselsforgenes,andit’sreallyallaboutthegenes

gettingpasseddown.Formales,becausewe’retalking

aboutourentirehistory,Imeanpre-human.Formen,

physicalstrengthhasalwaysbeenreallyimportantasfaras

surviving.Forwomen,theyhaveadifferentrole,andthey

can’trelyonphysicalstrength,onbrutestrength,theway

thatmaleshistoricallyhave.Whatafemaledoestosurvive,

sinceshecan’trelyonbrutestrength,isyoucanalmost

thinkofitasstrengthinnumbers;whereherstrength

comesfromtheassociationshehaswithothers,menand

women.So,also,ifyouthinkaboutheroffspring,her

childifshehasachild,sheneedsthatchildtosurviveand

childrencan’tspeak,soshehastohavethisintuitivesense

ofwhatthechildneeds.Andyou’llseethiswithmoms;

whentheirbaby’scrying,theykindofknowwhat’swrong.

Andwhatthismeansisthatwomenhavedevelopedavery

highdegreeofempathy,whichmeanstheyunderstand

howothersfeelbyfeelingthatwaythemselves.Andthisis

fundamentaltobeingabletocreatestrongbonds,strong

connections;it’salmostlikemindreading.Ifyoucanfeel

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