Overcoming Shyness.pdf

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system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, pho-

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Table of Contents

Part One: Understanding Shyness

1. What is Shyness?

Shyness as a Label

Being Shy Doesn’t Mean You Have Low Self-Esteem

Being Shy Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Like People

2. How Shy People are Perceived

How Approachable are You?

Your Shyness Makes Others Shy

3. Shyness Solutions

What Doesn’t Work: Alcohol

Jumping Off the Deep End

Techniques for Small Talk

Controlling Nervousness

Visualization

Self-Hypnosis

Part Two: Shyness in Dating

How to Project Conﬁdence

Talking to Attractive Women or Studly Men

What to Say

Dealing With Rejection

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Basic Exercises for Overcoming Shyness

Advanced Exercises for Overcoming Shyness

Men’s Top Ten Tips for Getting Over Shyness

Women’s Top Ten Tips for Getting Over Shyness

Don’t Look Like You’re Looking for Someone

About Calling After the First Date

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Introduction

What’s the one thing holding you back from meeting more members of the oppo-

site sex? Is it that you don’t know what to say? Are you self-conscious? Are you

worried that they’ll reject you?

If you answered “yes” to all three questions, you may be shy. Shyness is one of

the biggest barriers to achieving the kind of dating life you dream of. Guys want

to approach girls but can’t get up the courage to do so. Girls want to talk back to

cute guys but ﬁnd themselves tongue-tied and embarrassed at the attention.

Fortunately, shyness is one of those traits that most people grow out of. That’s

because almost everyone is shy at a certain point in their life, especially when

they’re young. If you haven’t had a lot of experience in many social situations, be-

ing shy is a natural response to being unfamiliar with the “rules” for the situation.

You’re not sure how you’re supposed to act, so you end up being quiet, feeling

awkward, and being highly conscious of being out of your depth.

As most people get older, they gain conﬁdence as they interact with more people.

Having a job that requires a lot of customer interaction, or moving to a new town

or university where you don’t know anyone, will help you get over your shyness,

because they force a person to learn socializing skills quickly.

However, for some people, shyness is a more serious matter. The seriously shy

feel terriﬁed at the prospect of having to interact with someone they don’t know.

Even the idea of exchanging words with a clerk at a grocery store can cause

sweaty palms and the shakes. As a result, these shy people live life with their

heads down, avoiding anyone’s eyes and avoiding any human contact that might

require them to speak.

In this part of Overcoming Shyness , author

A. Waterman will explain exactly what

shyness is and what it isn’t. She’ll explain

how others perceive shy people—the ﬁnd-

ings may surprise you. Finally, she’ll review

some of the most common solutions for

overcoming shyness.

In the second part of Overcoming Shyness ,

author K. Cotton will take over to explain

how shyness affects dating. You’ll learn how

to project conﬁdence, how to approach at-

tractive people, how to deal with rejection,

and the top ten tips for men and women on

getting over shyness.

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