fools_intermediate_plus_C.pdf

(1) “This new kind of sweet has been

invented by an alcoholic beverage

company especially for Russians.

Designed to compete with Mars and

Snickers, it will be available in three

flavours (lemon, coconut and salted

cucumber). The same company is

currently working on another product:

vodka bags.

(2) “Have you seen it in the film with

Kate Winslet and Leonardio DiCaprio?

So, now see the real thing. You will be

able to see a replica of the liner

(constructed by AFD Construction

company) as it is going to sail through

the English Channel today. The best

place to see the ship is Beachy Head,

East Sussex.

(Southern FM Radio)

(3) “We proudly

introduce a new item on

our menu—a Left-Handed

Whopper. The same

delicious ingredients—

lettuce, tomatoes and

others—but with

condiments rotated 180

degrees: all this for the

benefit of the 32 million

left-handed Americans.

Come and try our new

sandwich. Left-Handed

and Right-Handed

Whoppers available in our

restaurants across the

country.”

(advertisement in

USA Today)

(Itar-Tass)

(4) “The network will be shut down from

March 31 st until April 2 nd in order to get rid of

the accumulated electronic flotsam and

jetsam . The operation will be performed by

five very powerful Japanese robots situated

around the world. During this period, all

devices should be disconnected.”

(Massachusetts Institute of Technology)

(5) “In the interest of

consumer safety, our

company has developed

a new line of cans for our

cola. They are made of a

metal which can change

its colour. If a can

contains liquid which has

passed its sell-by date, the

metal reacts with it and

turns bright blue. We warn

you: do not buy any blue

cans.”

(Virgin Cola)

(6) “TESCO is proud to announce that

a new, better way of cooking has been

developed. Genetically modified food

will make cooking easier for you. Our

vegetables have micro airholes in their

sides which can make a loud noise—a

clear sign that the vegetables are fully

cooked. On sale only at TESCO.”

(advertisement in The Sun)

(7) “Our national

anthem ( God Save the

Queen ) will be replaced

by a new Euro Anthem,

written in German. We

are going to play it for you

now. Visit our website to

download it and read the

English translation of the

text.”

(8) “A sweet and

innocent girl? Actually,

she’s eleven years older

than you may think. Born

in West Bacon Rouge on

August 7, 1970 as Belinda

Sue Spearon, she attended

Robert E. Lee High School.

Former classmates of the

star, today known as

Britney Spears, have some

interesting details about

her life. Click here to read

more.

(The Wall of Sound

music website)

(9) “The Disney Corporation

is negotiating with the Russian

government, as it wants to

purchase the embalmed

body of the communist

leader, which has been on

display in Red Square since his

death. The corporation

assumes that this new themed

area could attract many

visitors, and significantly boost

the profits of the park,

located near Paris. Russians

are said to be quite

agreeable to the sale of the

body.

(BBC Radio 4)

(10) “Esporta Health Clubs have just launched a new line of

underwear made of FloraAstraTetrazine, a patented nylon polymer. This

revolutionary line is designed to help people lose weight. How does it

work? It sucks fat from your body. When you wear Esporta Health Clubs

underwear your body heat rises. Thus, you sweat more. The underwear

draws the sweat and excess fat, removed from the body through the

sweat. When you wash the underwear, you also wash away the fat.”

(Daily Mail)

(The Irish Times)

Adapted from the The Museum of Hoaxes ( http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/ )

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