The Drink Tank 079 (2006).pdf

The Drink Tank Issue 79

Maximum Placeholding Power!

As Everybody Already knows...

This week, I’m taking care of Dad

business, since we’re pulling the plug

tomorrow (and they really hate it at

the hospital when you call it that) and

he’s not expected to make it through

the weekend without the respirator.

Sucks? Yes. But there are upsides and

one of those upsides is making me a

bit excited for Friday Morning.

Let me take you back. On Tues-

day, the doctor called us in to tell the

family what I had already heard, that

Dad was severely brain damaged and

that they wanted to ‘make him com-

fortable and let him go’. I hate that

speech, at least in those words. I’d

much rather have had them say ‘Well,

he’s gonna die and we wanna let him.’

After they gave us the speech

and I told the family that was what we

were going to do (so they had no illu-

sions that they were making the de-

cision since Dad speciically wanted

me doing that) I went in and told my

Dad that’s what we were gonna do. He

didn’t hit me, so I think it was OK with

him.

My whole family was there ex-

cept for one cousin, Amber, who was

babysitting, and another who was close

to Dad and just couldn’t handle it.

They should have known from the last

name to give us a bigger conference

room because we illed the thing.

I’m the oldest Grandkid and Rey-

na, my Aunt Naomi’s third kid, is the

youngest at 16. Reyna has a baby (see,

told you we were Mexican) that’s one.

I decided that Reyna’s kid, Diana, will

be the spoiled one of her generation.

She’s bringing her on Friday and I have

so much to tell her about the family

(where she probably already knows

more about than I do) and about wres-

tling (another family tradition) and

about how I’m gonna make sure she

gets to be the #1 Great-Granddaugh-

ter (since Dad was the #1 son and I’m

the #1 Grandson). I’m very excited and

everyone is tired of hearing me talk

about the Little Girl.

Other than that, the whole dy-

ing thing Pops is doin’ is pretty tired.

I’ve arranged for a cremation (and the

prices for those are jumping due to ris-

ing fuel costs) and we broke into Dad’s

house and got photos and Bailey, my

Sis, took Dad’s videos like he prom-

ised her. I got a Bret Hart Autograph,

a couple of wrestling tapes and books,

a snoglobe (which I collect) and Dad’s

porn collection. This is the second time

I’ve been the receiver of Dad’s porn.

After Mom threw him out, I got his old

Greenleaf Classics and other paper-

backs!

Issue 79 of the Drink Tank is one measley page and will

certainly by the shortest Drink Tank of all time. I’ll be back

next week with a full issue, but Chris Garcia never misses

a week. I’ll do LoCs next issue, Dad’s tributezine sometime

in Mid-June, and an issue on Family in early July.

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