The Body Language Project Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language -Mantesh.pdf

SECTION 1

AN INTRODUCTION

I’m excited to be the one to share this wonderful

tool with you! The ability to read body language

will be useful to you for the rest of your life and is

definitely not something you will pass over or

forget. Body language occurs continuously and in

every social situation making it ubiquitous. When a

student of body language gets their first dose of

knowledge it is very exhilarating. It opens up a

whole new world, one that was always there, but

otherwise deeply buried in our minds. With a

thorough understanding of body language, you will

be able to read people from a distance without

needing to hear the words they speak. Suddenly, the

language of the body will become more transparent

and obvious, and those who understand it are given

a huge advantage over the rest.

quantifiable postures and positions that have actual

meaning. While some cues may become

compounded or confused with others, the whole

picture makes it obvious what someone is really

thinking.

By understanding body language you can also avoid

potentially embarrassing situations. Speaking is a

risky business in dating and also in life in general.

This is especially true when you don’t know what

emotional ground others stand on. Body language

outlines where you are in a relationship such as

what level of attraction or rejection is present at any

one time and eliminates all the guesswork involved

in reading women. The information in this book

will make it easy to determine which women are

available. Body language experts will know when it

is a waste of time to further a pursuit and when it is

time to hang in for the long haul.

Anyone into the dating scene knows how hard it is

to read women. After reading through this book and

studying the photographs, it won’t be a mystery any

longer. Without these key bits of information, you

cannot have a well rounded understanding of

dating. The book illustrates over 250 single items

of body language such as when a woman likes and

dislikes an approach, when a woman is ready to

kiss, when a woman is trying to block you out,

when she is bored or aroused, and practically every

other gesture a woman might impart. Also covered

extensively are tips to bring a woman closer through

your own body language, entering her intimate

space, and ways that you can display status and act

so as to arouse women. This guide is perfect for

both men and women interested in not only learning

more about each other, but also in attracting one

another. Body language allows people to use subtle

hints to convey interest or disinterest instead of

having to resort to overt and possibly embarrassing

tactics. This book represents the perfect foundation

to dating and attraction, and without it you cannot

fully master the art of seduction.

Even though men might believe that they have the

upper hand in the initial stages of a relationship,

they really do not. Women have a keen ability to

fool men into thinking that they have the advantage

early on, but in reality, women are able to control

men with the use of nonverbal communication

(whether or not they are actually aware of this fact

is not relevant). Women use nonverbal language to

send a strong signal of sexual interest, or as the case

may be, disinterest.

Guys, myself included, are often hesitant to

approach women. This is for good reason. We all

want to maintain what little confidence we have.

Approaching women is a risk-laden action and the

last thing anyone wants is to face rejection.

Thankfully, women impart their level of interest

with very specific cues and this saves men from

approaching disinterested women and can even save

them the embarrassment resulting from displaying

interest in them at all. Women use body language as

a signal to men that an approach is welcome or

unwelcome. Whether or not a man sees these cues

and acknowledges them is a different story

altogether.

The true aim of this book is to bring to

consciousness the intuition that is already present

and at the same time increase its efficiency.

Nonverbal expressions of liking, disliking,

superiority, timidity, fear, and so on are firmly

rooted in human biology. Body language is

therefore innate. It is not learned, and for the most

part, not cultural. This makes it a very useful tool in

dating and attraction as it provides us with

The skills in this book represent some of the most

important you will ever obtain in the pursuit of

The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008.

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women (or men, as the case may be). Your skills

will not appear overnight though. It will take time

and experience to turn your eye into a highly

developed reader of body language. However, with

practice will come great rewards. For example, you

will know if a woman is interested in getting to

know you better, and on which level. You will

know if she wants to kiss you, or whether she

simply wants you to go away.

vast majority of what is going on during a typical

conversation. No doubt, you could easily get away

without the conscious ability to read others’ body

language, however, why ignore such a powerful tool

when it is so easy to master?

Throughout the book, I realize that I speak mainly

in terms of what I find useful as a man with respect

to reading women, but that is only because I show

my true bias. The tools contained within, however,

are still very useful and practical for women. By

knowing the meanings of the cues, women can

better control the outcomes of specific situations.

If, for example, a woman really enjoys the company

of a particular man and wants to push the

relationship forward, she should know the proper

signals by which to make this happen. On the other

hand, if a woman is disinterested or finds herself in

a situation where an advance is unwanted, she will

be armed with the knowledge of what cues to

deliver to thwart the advance. A woman who is

perhaps careless with her gestures, may give off

particularly confusing cues to a man. A confused

man is never a good thing! If he is interested in

you, then more often than not, he will continue to

pursue. With the knowledge of nonverbal

communication, women can give specific and

accurate cues to others.

Ultimately dating and courtship is a way for a

woman to test a man’s desire to invest in her. A

woman doesn’t normally give off cues that are

obvious simply because she hasn’t yet decided for

certain if you are of interest to her. A woman will

normally draw out courtship in order to solidify the

bond between herself and a man. The more time a

man spends on the chase, she thinks, the more time

he will spend raising her children. Thus, for the

most part, the more she runs, the better off she will

be. This is why we often see mixed and confounded

signals which can be particularly frustrating if you

are not aware of their purpose.

The next time you are in a social setting, have a

look around and really bring to consciousness what

is going on. Some couples will no doubt be close

together, while others will have a few paces

between them. Others yet will be practically on top

of each other. What does this proximity mean?

Even deeper than this runs the gestures they make

toward one another. Some researchers will tell you

that body language is a more accurate indication of

someone’s thoughts than what actually comes from

their mouths since body language comes from the

subconscious whereas our spoken words come from

our consciousness. Our conscious mind is able to

plan and manipulate and is hence deceitful. If you

are following along, you are also putting two and

two together. As you learn about body language

you are moving it from your subconscious mind to

your conscious mind, meaning you can now plan

your body language and use it however you see fit.

Another useful way to appreciate how body

language works and to make it appear more logical

in our minds is to picture specific body language

poses as they would appear if the person were nude.

This is especially important since the cues have

evolved under these circumstances. For example,

take legs crossed versus uncrossed. How would

legs spread wide open appear on a woman? How

about on a man? What about a person with their

legs uncrossed with their hands up behind their head

slouched down in a chair? This would most

certainly come across as a dominant and an in-your-

face kind of posture. Now imagine this very same

posture coming from an arrogant boss if he was

completely nude with his genitals fully exposed!

While our clothing masks some of the offensiveness

of these postures, the meaning is still relevant.

Ignoring specific cues given off by the opposite sex

is a sure way to embarrassment. Reading women

incorrectly is fairly easy if you do not catalogue all

cues they give off. Some researchers put the level

of nonverbal communication as high as 80 percent

of all communication. More reasonably it could be

at around 50-65 percent. That’s exactly what

Mehrabian discovered in his communication study.

He found that only 7 percent of communication

comes from spoken words, 38 percent is from the

tone of the voice, and 55 percent comes from body

language. Thus, if you aren’t conscious of what is

happening nonverbally, you are missing out on the

A bit of caution is in order here. Keep the

information in this book to yourself. The first rule

of body language is: don’t talk about body

language! This type of thing is better left unsaid. I

made the mistake of telling a bunch of intoxicated

people that I was doing some reading on body

language. Everyone immediately stopped talking

and they sat in silence doing nothing. They knew

The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008.

www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 2

that I could read them but they did not want to be

read. They wanted to keep their thoughts and

emotions to themselves.

And finally, reading body language is not magic, it’s

science. It’s not exact, but it is pretty close. It is

very likely the best tool that exists for accurately

reading people, even more accurate than outright

asking them their thoughts. It is well known that

people tend to lie. We lie for various reasons, be it

to avoid offending someone, to avoid the hurt of

rejection, or simply because we have not yet

brought our true feelings to consciousness. I hope

you have as much fun reading this book as I have

had writing it and I do hope you will tell your

friends goods things about the sections to follow

and help The Body Language Project grow so that

we can bring you future publications and resources!

We welcome any positive or negative experiences

you’ve had with body language as a result of the

information contained in this book, so feel free to

send us an e-mail anytime!

The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008.

www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 3

SECTION 2

PERSONAL SPACE

If you are closer than arm’s reach, than you are in

someone’s personal space. This is the first lesson

you must learn. To create more space in crowded

areas such as elevators and bars, people often tense

up and use their arms as protection. They will hold

them close to their body – often crossed – and will

also avoid eye contact. If a woman you know is

doing this in your presence and you are not in an

elevator than she is sending you a strong message of

disinterest. You will not get very far with a person

who holds closed postures so you would be best

advised to give them some space, back up a few

paces, and allow them to reduce their tension. If a

woman steps back when you approach her, it does

not necessarily mean that she does not like you, she

just needs more time to get comfortable. People

guard their space passionately, wherever it is, and

will not appreciate it if you invade it. Respecting

people’s intimate space involves not invading it

with objects, like your bag or jacket, or with body

parts unless they are welcomed.

without an invitation and a woman will not

reciprocate attraction to someone she fears. This

doesn’t mean that you are never to enter the intimate

zone of a woman, but rather, you should wait for the

right cues before doing so. When you approach

someone physically, it is the same as if you were to

approach them emotionally, and you should wait for

a woman to give you signals that an approach is

welcome before moving closer.

Never use positions of power when approaching a

woman. That is, keep at eye level if possible.

However, if you and she are both standing then it

would be acceptable to use height as an advantage.

Height can be

exploited by men to

display dominance.

The king of the castle

holds literally in this

case since the higher a

person is, the more

power is projected

onto them. If the

woman you want to

approach is sitting

though, it is best to

approach her from a

bent or kneeling

position initially.

Once the woman

becomes more

comfortable with you

and you establish a

common dialogue,

then it becomes safer to exploit your height

differences. Your goal should never be to dominate

over a woman, especially initially. Your goal should

always be to make her feel comfortable in your

presence and to break down all the barriers that

separate the two of you.

The need for space is particular to a specific person

and is normally a function of their environment. If

they live in a densely populated area and frequent

busy malls, elevators and so forth, they will be more

accustomed to having people in close proximity.

Normally, city people will tolerate someone in their

space more so than those who live in rural settings.

However, it is quite common to give strangers as

much space as reasonably possible. For example, in

an empty elevator, it would be unreasonable to be so

close as to touch a stranger (even one you like).

This is completely reversed however in a full

elevator, where it is assumed that some accidental

touching will occur.

Dave is doing a really

good job at making Scarlett

uncomfortable by towering

over her. You can see her

defensive posture as she

pulls her coffee toward

herself and slightly tucks

her chin in toward her body.

Her left shoulder is moving

forward and away from the

wall in order to face her

nearest and easiest exit.

Her eye contact is harsh and

comes across as a glare.

Being sensitive to a woman’s need for space is a

given. If you act dominant and enter her space

without her permission, you are guaranteed to leave

her with a bad impression. All women perceive

men as threatening who enter their personal space

The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008.

www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 4

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