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Rules
Lair of the Troglodytes
This is an 80 reference microadventure with YOU, the reader, starring in the ill-advised role of a
Troglodyte warrior (hey, small adventure, small subject), recovering after a night on the floor.
Rules
You start this escapade with the following statistics =
SKILL 5
STAMINA 5
Pick your jaw up. And yes, no LUCK. Sorry…Combat remains the same, unfortunately for you, with
the following exception – if you fight without a weapon, subtract one from your Attack Strength. You
also have no equipment to begin with, but make sure to jot down whatever you pick up. The local
currency in this Trog hovel is the canine teeth of victims, known affectionately as ‘tusks’. Keep an eye
on these when you acquire them – they are important. Lastly, although it shouldn’t really be said, think
like a Troglodyte. Small, mean, and very nasty…
Background
Since the dawn of time, say the priests of the Small Demons, the Troglodytes had dwelled in the
dwarven halls of the Mountain of Fire. Pickings were rich and the dwarves “fat and complacent” - easy
prey for a few well armed Trog hunters. Then the wizard came from the south and the dwarves fell
before him. Great in his evil, he scoured the halls for recruits and the Trogs suffered under his bullying
minions. One clan, led by the devious Akhuz of the Golden Spear, fled the Mountain of Fire, across the
plain of green blades. Here, the clan came across a faint stench of evil wafting up from an outcrop of
rock and Akhuz investigated, discovering an ancient crypt. They took up residence and the Clan of
Akhuz was born, a warren of tunnels infesting a dank backwater room of the crypt. They were not
alone however, for haunting the central tomb was an evil malicious spirit that the Clan soon learned to
avoid. In addition, numerous beasts wandered in from the waving green blades, making their lairs in
other rooms, and if this wasn’t enough, the occasional Big Folk ventured into the stone chambers,
killing some of the resident creatures but causing the Trogs to seek shelter in their tunnels. The most
powerful of these Big Folk, a bearded sorcerer with a gilded staff, came across Akhuz one day, who
was out on a solo hunting expedition, back in the days when Ilkya the Hag was but an apprentice
priestess. Akhuz, confidently brandishing his Golden Spear, challenged the sorcerer and was slain for
his troubles. His magical spear was lost and the tribe floundered under a series of despotic chieftains
following his death. The latest in this long line of ratbrained tyrants is Chief Vurg, an old yet ruthless
Trog of ever-increasing girth. His last dictate was to send the three greatest heroes (some would say
Vurg’s three greatest rivals) on an expedition to explore the nether reaches of the crypt in a bid to
recover the Golden Spear, that Vurg claimed to have seen in a holy vision. These heroes, Bosha the
Bad, Gazoul, and Kursh Notch Ear, failed miserably, with only the now insane Gazoul returning,
screaming about flaming eyes and magical rings. He disappeared shortly after, presumed drowned in
the Well. YOU are Skuznut, the fourth greatest hero of the Clan of Akhuz, although somewhat given
over to drunkenness following the deaths of your comrades, and your mission is simply to survive a
day in the life of a failed, has been Trog warrior. Turn to 1 .
1
You wake up with a shocking headache and the vaguest memories of arguing with the Chief about
something trivial. You must have taken to the Shroomshine Grog shortly after that as your mouth is
coated with a sickly sweet slime and the whelp currently pounding your head with a rock doesn’t show
any sign of stopping soon. You chance it and open an eye…
Your cave is a shambles. A foul smell that doesn’t bear close contemplation wafts evilly from
one corner of the room, and the floor is covered with the rubble of broken clay gourds. From these
dribbles a trickle of green fluid that has already attracted a growing horde of ants. You flick a couple
into your mouth and munch on them hopefully, pondering your next move. Breakfast is a must in this
state, but before you wander down to the Fungus Gardens for a snack, you could visit Badduz the
Brewer, to see if he’s got something to kick you into shape. Especially since it’s his Shroomshine that’s
causing your present discomfort. Or, to pass the time and shake off the nausea, you could go and see
Shunga and the lads, who are no doubt gambling their fortunes away right now. You grab your
possessions (add the following to your Adventure Sheet = a copper nugget, a flint knife (this counts as
a weapon), and a pouch containing 4 tusks), and lurch out of your chamber, into the main tunnel. Other
Trogs are beginning to awaken in other caves, although you’d be surprised if any were in quite as bad a
state as you.
Where will you go: follow the main tunnel up to Shunga’s Gambling Den (turn to 47 ) or
downwards to Badduz the Brewer (turn to 65 )?
2
Ilkya hands you a foaming potion that looks and smells disgusting. Still, you’ve drunk worse things in
your time and, shrugging your shoulders, you down it in one. It’s pretty vile; in fact you’re not sure
which is worse, Ilkya’s Elixir or licking the residue barrels at Badduz’s Brewery. However, it does
serve to sober you up and you may delete the word ‘DRUNK’ from your Adventure Sheet if you have
it, and in addition restore any lost SKILL points owing to drunkenness. If you do not have the word
‘DRUNK’ on your adventure sheet there is no effect. You wipe the last of the foam from your lips and
straighten up. If you have two copper nuggets and want to try the Consecrated Mushrooms, cross the
copper nuggets off your Adventure Sheet and turn to 45 . If you don’t have two copper nuggets or are
not interested you can go to the Chief’s Room (turn to 34 ), or the Moon Cave (turn to 54 ).
3
On one knee you bend forward, offering the spear on your outstretched palms to Vurg. Two
bodyguards step forward at Vurg’s order to relieve you of the spear. Vurg then strides up to where you
lay on the floor, and pats you roughly on both ears with his dagger.
“Skuznut, for your service to the Clan today I award you the titles of ‘Kneecapper’ and
‘Spearfinder’! Arise…”
You stagger to your feet, bruised and weary. Hands immediately hoist you into the air onto the
shoulders of the guards, and with one voice the Clan of Akhuz lets out a rousing cheer.
“SKUZNUT! SKUZNUT!”
Congratulations! You have survived this adventure and will go down in Clan lore as a hero
worthy of Akhuz himself for the night you single-handedly braved combat with one of the Big Folk
using the Golden Spear of Akhuz. This ordeal is over, although no doubt a new one will await
tomorrow, when you become party to the labyrinthine plotting of Chief Vurg…
4
You are in a darkened entry chamber with a low ceiling. There are identical stone passages leading
away to the left and right. A more impressive archway directly opposite you would lead straight ahead,
except it is choked with rubble and thus impassable. You notice footprints in the dust on the floor,
showing someone has recently entered the left passageway. Which way will you go? Left (turn to 48 )
or right (turn to 56 )?
5
Now you’re in trouble. Here in the bowels of the Warren, smoke and foul gases belch from strange
fissures leading ever downward, whilst loathsome things leap silently from the shadows to rend poor
Trogs with their talons. These are the Dark Places, and there is an excellent chance of some netherbeast
slithering up to do you harm. Roll a die and turn to the paragraph indicated to see what has ambushed
you.
1 Turn to 62 .
2 Turn to 36 .
3 Turn to 19 .
4 Turn to 24 .
5 Turn to 43 .
6 Turn to 55 .
6
Do you wish to make any further purchases?
Moss dumplings - one tusk each – turn to 63 .
Puffballs - two tusks each – turn to 78 .
Clay gourd - five tusks – turn to 52 .
If you decide to make any purchases, deduct the appropriate amount of tusks from the total on your
Adventure Sheet and turn to the paragraph indicated. In addition, if you have a clay gourd containing
Shroomshine Grog, Zudda will trade you a moss dumpling for it should you wish (in which case cross
the gourd off your Adventure Sheet and turn to 63 ).
When your business is finished here, or you can no longer afford to buy anything, you turn to
leave. As you do so Zudda offers you a final bit of advice: “If I were you, I’d go to the top of the
Warren and see Ilkya the Hag. Maybe she can help you with your problems with the Chief.”
You’re about to retort to this but Zudda is already bargaining with a worker from the Gardens,
so instead you consider your choices onwards. There are two major tunnels leading out of the Fungus
Gardens. One tunnel spirals downwards to the Well, where the Clan of Akhuz draw most of their
water. To take this route turn to 8 . The other tunnel leads to the Guardroom, which watches over the
only Trog-sized tunnel that connects the Warren to the rest of the crypt. To visit the Guardroom turn to
20 .
7
You float into an immense stone chamber where three corridors converge and twin flanking rows of
skeleton-encrusted pillars support a high arched ceiling. You sense a hideously evil presence which
reveals itself as a black shadowy figure with fiery eyes, rising up from the bier at the far end of the
chamber. It stops when it sees you and you have the uncomfortable impression it is laughing.
“Having fun?” it rumbles in a voice of lead. “Don’t worry - I can’t hurt you whilst you’re in
that state! We’ll meet again sooner or later, and then things may be a little different…”
It gestures with a dark talon and you feel yourself sucked backwards into a corridor, although
you do not know which one. Turn to 76 .
8
You follow a much traveled tunnel that winds downwards to the Well, occasionally passing groups of
workers carrying dripping gourds of water up to the Fungus Gardens. The Well itself is a large
chamber with a murky flooded sinkhole, whilst around the hole are several buckets tied to lengths of
rope that are staked to the floor. Recent rumour holds that when Gazoul returned from the expedition
that claimed the lives of Kursh Notch Ear and Bosha the Bad, he hurled some accursed artifact,
acquired on his travels, deep into the Well. He then spent seven nights mourning the loss of his treasure
and on the eighth night he disappeared; popular opinion being he died jumping into the sinkhole to
retrieve the artifact.
If you have the word ‘DRUNK’ written on your Adventure Sheet, turn immediately to 53 .
Otherwise, you can throw one of the buckets into the Well and draw up some water (in which case turn
to 16 ), or you can take the only tunnel onwards, which twists up to the top of the Warren in a tight
ascending spiral (turn to 70 ).
9
Foaming at the mouth, you throw yourself at the human adventurer without the slightest regard for your
worthless hide. He takes a half step back before recovering his surprise, and the blue sword swings
around in a deceptively lazy arc that almost decapitates you. You must fight the ADVENTURER.
ADVENTURER
SKILL 10
STAMINA 14
If the ADVENTURER manages to wound you, deduct three STAMINA points instead of the usual 2 as
the magical blade bites deep into your flesh. If the ADVENTURER reduces your STAMINA to zero
turn immediately to 38 . If you are still alive after two combat rounds turn immediately to 66 if you
have the Golden Spear of Akhuz. If you do not, turn to 21 instead.
10
(You are now back in the physical world so you can delete the word ‘TRIP’ from your Adventure
Sheet. You can also use all your equipment again as per normal.)
You find yourself lying prone on the floor of Ilkya’s Workroom, feeling even more
disorientated than normal. Ilkya sits cross-legged on a mat nearby, puffing on the dregs of the water
pipe.
“So, how was it?” she says conversationally, the pupils of her eyes reduced to black slits.
“Um…dunno really… interesting, I guess…” you murmur abstractedly.
“Well Skuznut,” Ilkya replies, taking one long final drag, “I hope it showed you the path to
glory. Never turn that chance down, understand? Now, is there anything else I can do for you?”
If you have two tusks and now want to try the Elixir of Sobriety, cross the tusks off your
Adventure Sheet and turn to 2 . If you don’t have two tusks or are not interested you can go to the
Chief’s Room (turn to 34 ), or the Moon Cave (turn to 54 ).
11
You press open the slain beast’s jaws, and using your flint knife as an improvised dental implement,
manage to extract two tusks worth of dentures (don’t forget to add them to the total on your Adventure
Sheet). Then you decide it might a good idea to get of here quick, before something else shows up to
test your mettle. Dimly in the gloom your eyes can make out the shape of the wooden trapdoor leading
back to the Guardroom. If you want to rap on this to summon Hortung, turn to 40 . Alternatively, you
also spot the entrance to a tiny tunnel winding in a tight spiral upwards, presumably to the top of the
Warren. Turn to 70 if you want to leave the Dark Places by this route.
12
“No chance of that!” you snarl at the Chief, staggering to your feet as you do so. “Find it, keep it!”
There is a shocked silence in the Big Room, save for the sound of Chief Vurg sucking in a
lungful of air, his face a mottled purple and his eyes flaming with rage.
“Then die traitor!” he shrieks, charging forwards with his bronze dagger gripped firmly in
hand. Despite his weight he moves with startling agility and his ceremonial weapon gleams coldly in
the dim light. You must CHIEF VURG, leader of the Clan of Akhuz.
CHIEF VURG
SKILL 6
STAMINA 6
If CHIEF VURG reduces your STAMINA to zero turn immediately to 74 . If you defeat CHIEF VURG
however, then turn to 80 .
13
A little further down the main tunnel a couple of Trog workers are standing around a figure on the
floor. Moving in for a closer look, you’re momentarily shocked to see Badduz the Brewer sprawled
motionless and bleeding from a cut to the head.
“What happened here then?” you demand.
Moving out of the way of your foetid breath, one worker nervously responds: “Don’t know
boss….saw him running down the tunnel and he just tripped and fell over….”
“Likely story,” you say. “Go to the Brewery and get some help. I’ll take care of him.”
“Sure boss.” The workers depart.
After they’re safely out of sight you rifle through Badduz’s belt pouches, and sure enough,
there’s your copper nugget and all your tusks, plus some extra that must be Badduz’s stash (add two
copper nuggets and six tusks to your Adventure Sheet.) Badduz starts to wake up but you rap him
across the head with the handle of your knife, to knock him out, and keep searching. The only other
item you find is a small clay gourd of Shroomshine Grog, which you may take if you wish (in which
case add it to your Adventure Sheet and note that you can drink it to restore one STAMINA point but
you must deduct one SKILL point and write the word ‘DRUNK’ on your Adventure Sheet. Note that
all ‘DRUNK’ penalties are cumulative, until you find a cure.)
Fully satisfied by your rapid change of fortune, you sneak off down the tunnel to the Fungus
Gardens. Turn to 42 .
14
You are in the workroom of the notoriously bad tempered Ilkya the Hag, head soothsayer and priestess
of the Moon Cave, although recently out of favour following the ascension of the new Chief. You have
no desire to be disrespectful, especially since it is rumoured that Ilkya can read minds, but you cannot
work out if the strange smell in the room comes from Ilkya herself, the mess of entrails and burning
incense sticks on the altar to Small Demons, the riot of gourds, salves, ointments, and powders on her
workbench, or perhaps a mixture of all three. Regardless, your nose wrinkles uncontrollably and your
eyes start watering.
“Skuznut!” shrieks Ilkya, shambling over in her bloody robes, a necklace of crescent shaped skulls
swinging from her wattled throat. “Haven’t seen you in these parts since you drank so much Grog you
mistook the Fungus Gardens for the Dark Places and the Chief made me give you a sleeping draught to
calm down. What brings you here then?”
“Dunno really. Out for a walk I suppose..” you reply, breathing through your mouth.
“Well, you’re looking pretty seedy. Care for an Elixir of Sobriety to cure your drunkenness?
Only costs two tusks….Alternatively, you might like to try some mushrooms that have been
consecrated by the Small Demons. Potent but expensive, I’ll have to charge you two copper nuggets for
them. What’ll it be?”
Elixir of Sobriety – two tusks – turn to 2 .
Consecrated Mushrooms – two copper nuggets – turn to 45 .
If you decide to make any purchases, deduct the appropriate amount of tusks or nuggets from the total
on your Adventure Sheet and turn to the paragraph indicated. If you cannot afford these purchases, or
are not interested, you have a choice of two ways onward. A tunnel illuminated by a flickering orange
light leads up to the Moon Cave, the highest part of the Warren. Turn to 54 if you want to go here. Or
you can take the low dark tunnel that leads all the way down to the Chief’s Room. Turn to 34 for this
option.
15
Around Kursh’s neck you can dimly see a bronze amulet engraved with two demonic eyes of fiery
aspect. If you’d like to take the amulet, turn to 73 . If however, you’d prefer to extract a few tusks, turn
to 11 .
16
You pick up one of the buckets and toss it into the flooded sinkhole. Roll one die and turn to the
paragraph indicated.
1 Turn to 35 .
2 – 4 Turn to 41 .
5 Turn to 26 .
6 Turn to 53 .
17
That was a bit foolish. Not only are you outnumbered, but you’re also in pretty poor condition right
now. Gubble knocks you flat in a quick rush that you can’t dodge, and follows it up by sitting on your
chest. Shunga then empties your money pouch, whilst Vilkung methodically slaps your nose. (Cross all
the tusks you possess off your Adventure Sheet, and deduct two STAMINA points for your troubles.)
The gamblers then toss you out of the Den, where you land in a bruised heap in the main tunnel.
Waving his chubby fist at you, Gubble shouts “..and stay out you drunken beetlebrain…”
before going back inside.
Picking yourself up, with a worse headache then before, you dust yourself off and lurch down
the main tunnel to the Fungus Gardens, thinking dark thoughts as you do so. Turn to 42 .
18
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